23 yr marriage

Recently I met a man, who is separated from his current wife of 23 yrs, the divorce is to be final is about 2 months from now. They have been separated for approximately 6 months. She left for another man. All of us are over 50 yrs old. He claims he is ready for another relationship, but I have the reservation about getting involved due to the length of the marriage.

Do men get over a relationship quicker than females? I do not want to be the reboundee or the person who did not allow a reconciliation become possible. He has told me she has asked to come back home and he said no.

Help please, I feel guilty about dating a married man even though hes separated.

Noel's response

I would be very surprised if he is truly ready for another relationship. There is an old expression "women mourn, men replace". I made the mistake after being widowed years ago of getting into another relationship within a few months. I realized too late that I should have waited at least three years. We got married, and struggled in a difficult marriage for 13 years before we got divorced.
Psychologists speak of a 'throw-away relationship' after a major loss through death or divorce.
If you like being with the man, there is nothing wrong with having a relationship with him. Just don't make any permanent arrangements (marriage) for three years. If you are still together, it could be fine.