31 and not having sex

by Nelson Williams
(Berwick P.A)

Hello every one im 31 and me and my wife been together for 8 years now and for the last past 4 years her sex drive is at a stop sign and when i ask her whats going on i always get the same B.S story oh im tired and i say tired of what now mind you see stays at home with the kids but the kids go to school from 8am to 3:15pm so that 7 hours she has to her self and yet the house is never clean dishes in the sink so when i come home from work at 1am in the morning i have to clean up the house while she sits on the computer all day long and when i ask her sex i get nothing i even tell her hey lets have sex once a week and i get nothing now mind you im a freaky guy when it come to sex but not in a weird way i have no problem going down on my wife cause can do it for hours and i enjoy it different postions and all but when it comes to my wife giving me oral plaesures it 2 seconds and thats it im thinking to myself what the hell was that and when we have conversations about our sex life my wife always changes the subject to something else so the issues are being addressed but she does not want to talk about it like before im 31 and still in my prime i should not have to go through this problem i work,cook,clean take care of the kids on my days off i dont hang out at bars or go to clubs i spend all of my time at home with my family and what has me so frustrated is that females at work come up to me and whisper-I can treat you better or i can see your not happy with her or shes no good for you- now mind you i never spoke to these women about my issues i dont no what to do im not a cheater or a womenizer thats why i got married so that i could comitt myself to one person but somthing has to give and i have to say in my early 20s i use hear alot of women say- what one women wont do the next women will- and my wife knows this because i heard her say it to her girlfriends over and over when they get together and before i go i want to let all of you know that the three kids we have are not hers she is there stepmother but the kids love her the same so i dont wont to hear- well after giving birth to three kids the sex slows down- from most of the females thank you.

Noel's response

I suggest marriage and/or sex therapy. I don't know of anything else that might help you. If your wife won't go, it might be useful for you to go to a sex therapist yourself, just to see if there is anything you can do/change to help yourself, and perhaps your marriage.

Comments for 31 and not having sex

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Oct 15, 2013
Wholeheartedly,
by: Miki

I agree with Noel's comments. Whether solo or as a couple, therapy may offer abundant benefits.

Oct 13, 2013
31 and not having sex
by: NWF

Hello, I don't know what to say either except stop doing her work and fixing everything. Woman tend to be fixers more so than guys but some guys are also; I am a woman whose H went into midlife crisis and did this to me for years and then he found another woman and walked out...after he finally wanted to have sex with me again and things were looking up...then he walked away. MLC makes you crazy!! We all have responsibilities and when one does not keep up their part of the bargain, do not do it for them. Let the house get messy, don't complain (really, don't), and don't fix it for her and let it get bad so she will realize it is her responsibility to clean it. I know you want to clean it up...but stop yourself from doing it. She may be going into low-level depression and not want sex due to her being confused and numb inside. Midlife transitions do turn into midlife crisis with no intervention, even with intervention. She is rather young for a midlife transition/crisis though. Show her that you care about things other than sex and validate her concerns. Maybe she needs more space for a little while--> if she doesn't want to talk, fix her a favorite drink and tell her that you will be in the other room if she needs you...and then go to the other room. (PS Woman don't like oral sex for hours; that gets very boring for us.)

Hugs for you and I hope it gets better.

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