50 year old boyfriend is avoiding me after feeling pressured

by A.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months. When we met we immediately had a close relationship and he told me he was in love with me before the first month. I felt the same way so we were happy together.

The only issue we've ever had has been the physical distance between us which is approx.40 miles. He told me he was starting his life over and took a new position that takes up practically every waking minute of his time. We knew it would be hard but we agreed not to let this keep us from each other.

This has put a very big strain in our relationship and it's a struggle to see each other.
The plan was for me to find employment closer to him ( which I have done ) and we would move in together as soon as he was more stable.

He knows and understands that my elderly parents will be moving to the same area because their home is under short sale contract. I found employment and will start in a week and my parents had me find a place for them ( in my boyfriends area ) which I will live in until their house closes.

When I told my boyfriend what was occurring he became upset and wouldn't answer my calls or texts. Later when he finally made contact he said I was forcing the issue by moving closer to him and he doesn't like being forced to do something.

I explained that the apartment was secured for my parents and this would allow us to be closer until we found a place of our own. I apologized for having made him feel pressured and he said everything was fine.

He is avoiding contact with me. What should I do to see if he really loves me enough for this to work out?

Please adviser.

Noel's response

It sounds as though he is getting cold feet, and doesn't want to commit to anything long term. You did not mention whether he has been recently separated or divorced, but if he has, you should both wait at least three years before moving in together.




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