63 year old husband has no enthusiasm for life.

by BORED
(Indpls., IN)

My husband is a pessimist and doesn't like (trust) other people. I didn't see those red flags because at 21 it was the late 60's and his political rantings were not unusual. He has been ranting about the same stuff since Nixon.


Although he is a social worker he will not admit to burnout. He works three professional jobs. He doesn't like to socialize with others, just me. When we are with others, he sometimes physically stands outside the group and just observes. He's very bright, but when asked his opinion about something related to his field, he says, "Boy, I just don't know."

He comes from a family who doesn't trust others; they act superior to others, but I think they feel inferior to others.

Now he rants about work and politics constantly.
I just retired and feel reborn with lots of optimism for the near future. I'm painting, in a book club, lunch with friends, play with the grandkids. He just rants or sleeps. He can no longer chat about everyday events without going off the deep end.

He threw a blood clot to his lung in 2008. Very scary.
His leg is swollen greatly still, but he will not see the doctor.
His health is so poor, but he won't do anything about it.

What the heck is going on?
After 32 years of marriage, I feel like I'd rather be alone.

Noel's response

It sounds as though he has never made the 'inner journey', or done any significant personal growth, so projects a lot of his inner stuff out onto the world in the form of rants. Without getting personal counseling, I doubt he will get any better as he ages.

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