72 YO wants sex with wife

by Larry Howell
(Arlington, Texas)

I was exiled to the spare bed room 15 years ago. I was unable to please my wife and she said things like "She felt like a hole" I used to fulfill my lust desires or "don't start something you cant finish". That and other statements turned me off especially when I was sent to the spare room. Farther back, she was molested as a pre-teen and, we married at 16/17 so when the children came along we shifted to raising them thus no conflicts were addressed. Now being exiled I had resorted to very unsatisfying self gratification. Lately the Dr. started me on testosterone treatments which have probably resulted in my resurgence in sexual interests. I was below 100 from the tests. When I approach her now she expresses no interest even to the point of total repulsion at the idea. I agree I am at fault for letting this continue for so long (really 20-25 years) without meaningful intervention. I have stated that I will never initiate sex again and that she will be the initiator. She is perfectly willing to never have sex or intimacy with me even though we do love each other. She says sex was for procreation only, but I know we both had meaningful contact before. I really don't understand how I might get a more reasonable response from her especially now that I am much more understanding and knowledgeable. I feel I have been patient but wish to rekindle our relationship in our latter years. Is it too late? What could/would anyone do.


Noel's response

I am not qualified to answer your question. Perhaps seeing a marriage or sex counselor (even on your own) would be helpful.

Someone on this list may have a helpful suggestion as well.

Comments for 72 YO wants sex with wife

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Oct 28, 2016
Silly old man
by: Rosebud

This has to be a joke?!? Old man still thinking about that? Jesus god-that's gross..you accepted & lived sex less for many yrs, now your both into a older but you expect attention because your getting meds that all of a sudden makes you needy don't mean she should automatically change her routine. Maybe try some romantic gestures instead of assuming she should automatically become your hole again after so many yrs. Instead of wasting time whining online, you should be courting your lady. Grow some balls & climb into your marriage bed even just to sleep. No wonder she kicked up outta that bed, your a whining, horns old man with no backbone. Thanx for the laugh tho-72 yrs old thinking with his thing..haha

Sep 19, 2016
Husband ignored ! Me
by: Anonymous

I'm 69 and he 65 we got divorced and weate living in the same house like roommate's i ask him are we going to get married and he says one step at a time he doesn't give me hugs flowers or kisses I'm just tire he gives some cold stàres at times. What could I do

Oct 02, 2014
Not a good way to live my friend...
by: Anonymous

I am a little younger than you, but not much. I was married for 30 years. My wife's sex drive crashed after about 15 years. We have 3 children, all grown now. When you have been married as long as you have, you can only have a myopic view of what marriage, love, and sex is supposed to be. I can tell you one thing. The first time I was asked to sleep in another room, would be the end of that relationship. I am sure you have been very frustrated and had many conversations with yourself. You can leave and still love each other. Once out the door, even at your age, what you will find are 1000's of lonely women wanting some attention. If you leave, your wife will quickly become one of those lonely hearts herself. To me, I can feel your self esteem pouring on to the floor. After a few dates you will start to feel like a man again. I can not speak for all men, but it is my opinion that men are simply driven to have sex up to the point of pulling the plug. You do not even have to divorce, just leave and find a life with positive people. If you are fortunate to have good cash flow, you can easily find a lady to do some traveling with. I have been dating a fabulous lady for a year now and we travel every other month. Oh, and she is a sex monster. She is always wearing something sexy to bed that means "green light".

So that is my opinion. Your wife is to old to change her ways and therapy will just be a waste of money and time. If you actually want to be in your controlled life, then remain miserable. If you leave and rebuild your manhood, she may surprise you and come crawling back. Funny you say you two love each other, yet you go crawling into another bedroom at night. However, if you leave, the chances of creating a new exciting life in and out of the bedroom are highly likely.

Noel's comment
Many, if not most women lose their sex drive after menopause, but this can be restored through hormone therapy. The only caveat is that it MUST be prescribe and supervised by a doctor who has studied hormone therapy and prescribes 'human identical' hormones.

Mar 11, 2014
Dear Mr. Larry Howell of TX
by: Ms. Michal of central WI

When I read your letter sir, it made me cry as I am doing now too. (insert mid-aged woman crying for you both and your almost sexless marriage of how long?)

Exiled for 15 yrs+ from your own bedroom with her? I cannot begin to imagine how tough life must have been for you dear, kind sir. I am curious, have you had any affairs? I know if I were in your position of being "S-ex-illed", I would have had MANY affairs without a moments hesitation! But then again, I am a strong-willed Scorpio who is an attractive, petite woman that has broken too many hearts in this lifetime because if he & I were not *mutually and chemically attracted & committed*, I would run &/or dump him immediately. Sex is VERY important to me. Please know sir, I had a great sex life with my former husband who cheated on me way too much & for far too long (to mention here.)

Wanting to have sex with your wife is so very natural and human. =D Especially since she is UNwilling,(meaning condescending & simply cruel about how she rejects your normal advances,) have you tried talking with her about having an "open" marriage versus divorcing?

I agree with Noel, counseling is what you two need, she more so than you sir.

To close, the divine in me bows deeply to the divine in you both... May the Creator bless & keep you two close in Its Heart. May the angels lend their wings to protect what you both have built. I pray for you & your marriage, she says as she starts crying again. Breathe & let it go, as she sends it on to Noel. Bless you too Noel! Loving hugs for all who need some. :-)

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