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There's a New Man's Story at Midlife-Men.com
April 15, 2005
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Midlife Wisdom For Men Issue #032, April 15, 2005

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There's a New Man's Story at www.midlife-men.com

What's Your Plan For Your 30-Year Bonus?

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Written by Noel McNaughton Midlife-Men.com (c) copyright 2005 midlife-men.com

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If you like this e-zine, please do a friend and me a big favour and forward it to him. If a friend DID forward this to you and if you like what you read, please subscribe by visiting Midlife Wisdom for Men.

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Welcome to this issue of Midlife Wisdom for Men. And a special welcome to the new subscribers this week. Hope you find this newsletter interesting and useful.

We see it everywhere in the media: aging sucks, old people (i.e. over 40) are stumbly, clueless, slow-thinking dolts. Ok... maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but the fact is, aging is not viewed positively in our society.

BUT, we can have a WAY more exciting, interesting and rewarding life AFTER we hit midlife than before, if we don't believe the lies society loves to perpetuate. We are living longer than ever as well, so it's more critical that we think about what we still want to do, unless we want to die of boredom in our 'third quarter'.

There are about 854 words in the articles in this newsletter, which may take about three minutes to read.

Noel

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There's a New Man's Story at midlife-men.com

LES BROST, a former rancher, was going blithely, if 'unconsciously' through his life. Then, in his mid-forties, a chance encounter with an old girl friend woke him from his lethargy. The following ten years brought incredible lows (including attempted suicide), but ended on a high that has him saying his life has never been better! Check out his story at Men's Stories

NOTE: If you have visited that page in the last while, you may have to click your browser's 'refresh' or 'reload' icon in order to see Les's story.

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"If in the last few years you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead." - Gelett Burgess

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What's Your Plan For Your 30-Year Bonus?

I don't know about you, but I don't plan to retire. Ever. I DO plan to do more and more of just what I WANT to do, and less and less of what I don't want to do. I'll be sixty on my next birthday, and I feel more contented, optimistic and interested in life now than I have ever been, plus I look forward to many stimulating years to come.

Thirty years ago, it would have been unbelievable to me that I could feel the way I do at the age I am. Most of society still has that attitude today.

In his book Second Growth: The Six Paradoxes of Third Age Renewal, William A. Sadler quotes Dr. Theodore Lidz, former chair of psychiatry at Yale University, as having written this about people in their forties:

"Middle age is initiated by awareness that the peak years of life are passing. A person realizes that he is no longer starting on his way, his direction is usually well set, and his activities will determine how far he will get. The middle-aged individual becomes aware that ill health and even death are potentialities that hover over him."

Lidz pretty well sums up Society's view of aging. We see it everywhere - TV, radio, magazines. Older adults look ditzy or klutzy or just plain not with it. That would simply be annoying to us midlifers if we didn't believe all that negative stereotyping ourselves. Believing it makes it dangerous to us.

In his book, however, Sadler goes on to tell the stories of many people who reinvented themselves and their careers in their 40s, 50s, 60s and even 70s. These people didn't believe the stories about aging that society passes around, and started down exciting new paths that made their 'third age' better than anything that had come before.

More than 88 million North Americans, nearly a third of the population, either soon will be, or are already, over fifty.

Some forecasters are predicting dire consequences to society from this 'greying of America'. But these dismal forecasts are based on the past, with its largely outdated concepts of aging.

Even as recently as 50 years ago, 'middle age' was thought to be about 35 (halfway through a 'normal' lifespan of 70 years. And a hundred years ago, the average life expectancy at birth in industrialized countries was below fifty. Below forty in some cases!

Now middle age is at least 40, and life expectancy is about 82 for a man 40 or older. (At birth, life expectancy is a bit lower, but if you didn't die at a younger age (which you obviously haven't), you have a good chance of living into your 80s.) In Boomer jargon, "50 is the new 40".

That being the case, Alan Pifer, former chairman of the Carnegie Corporation Project on the Aging Society, said this new longevity is like having a new third quarter in our life span, which "should constitute a period of rebirth, with the awakening of new interests and enthusiasm for life, and new possibilities for being productive."

But these extra years present us with a challenge too: How can we tap our true potential and make these extra years better not only for ourselves but also for our society?

Reading books such as Second Growth: The Six Paradoxes of Third Age Renewal, meditating on what we still want to achieve, asking ourselves questions such as 'if I died in the next 24 hours, what would I regret NOT having done?', and even asking friends we trust what they see as our natural talents or particular strengths, can help us figure out our next 'career' (whether for pay, or as a volunteer).

Here's a site I just found that might be useful too: your career change.

We are living longer. Three things are important:

  1. We must avoid believing the B.S. our society passes around about aging. As the great pitcher Satchel Paige said, "how old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"
  2. We need to think about and clarify what we feel passionate about. In coaching midlife men, I find that the thing we have hidden deepest in ourselves is that very passion that we need now to discover and start acting on.
  3. We need to start taking action - one small step at a time - toward what we think we want to do next. It will clarify itself as we move forward.

If we don't do this stuff, it's going to be a looooooong thirty year bonus!

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ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: For indoor or outdoor use only.

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I believe the internet is the ideal place for living out your passion, and making money while you are doing it.

What are you excited about? What hobby do you love? What are you so good at that people ask you to do it for them (gourmet catering? tying flies? figuring out how computer programs work? teaching the easy way to play guitar?) and you enjoy it so much you would do it for free?

Literally anything you can think of can be made into a fun and profitable website, if you know how to do it, and have the tools. The web package I use provides everything you need.

If you want to see a few hundred examples, go here: All Kinds of Sites In All Kinds of Businesses

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Outside a second hand shop: we exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

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Just For You: A Free Do-It-Yourself Retirement Planning Report

If you are a new subscriber to this newsletter, you will recall I promised you a link to a secret page on the Midlife Men's site where you can download a free 27-page report on 'DIY Retirement planning' by George Slater.

Welcome to the newsletter, and for your free report, go to: DIY Retirement E-Report , click on the link, and follow the instructions.

Enjoy!

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Learn to be a Teleclass Facilitator

If you are a facilitator/speaker/professional who gives lectures or workshops, you can do it from home and make money. Teleclasses (also known as teleseminars) using telephone bridge lines, are becoming increasingly popular, and and a very inexpensive way to deliver high-quality training. I took training in teleclass leadership from Teleclass International which I highly recommend.

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Classifieds


A Destroyer of Compasses by Wade Bell, published by Guernica Editions, (Toronto, Buffalo and Lancaster UK) $15.00 Cdn

One Man's Mid-Life Crisis Led to Spain. Planning to spend six weeks, he stayed five years.

A book of stories the Toronto Globe & Mail called "an assured and sensual portrait of a culture" with "precise and ironic examples of human idiosyncracy." The review went on to call stories "gems."

Available from Amazon, E-Bay and local bookstores.


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I Need Your Questions and Feedback!

Got comments? Questions? I'd love to hear from you.

Just email your suggestions and/or questions to noel@midlife-men.com . I look forward to hearing from you. And thanks.

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Well friend, that's it for now. Again, if you enjoyed this and/or found it useful, and know of anyone else who might like it, please pass it forward. And if you have questions or recommendations, I would love to hear from you.

All the best, Noel

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