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Support From Your Peers At Midlife
May 31, 2006
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Midlife Wisdom For Men Issue #059, May 31, 2006

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· A Bit Of Health Advice

· Support From Your Peers At Midlife

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Written by Noel McNaughton Midlife-Men.com (c) copyright 2006 midlife-men.com

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If you like this e-zine, please do a friend and me a big favour and forward it to him. If a friend DID forward this to you and if you like what you read, please subscribe by visiting Midlife Wisdom for Men.

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Welcome to this issue of Midlife Wisdom for Men.

I have noticed, as perhaps you have as well, that there is more stress on a marriage (mine as well as those of some of my friends) during the middle years. In traditional societies, this stress was recognized, and structures were set up to deal with it. Details below.

There are about 850 words in the articles in this newsletter, which should take you about three minutes to read.

All the best,

Noel

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A Bit Of Health Advice

Broccoli is good for your prostate Recent research shows that Soy and cruciferous vegetables (e.g. broccoli) fight hormone-responsive tumors such as breast and prostate cancers. The February 13, 2006 issue of the British Journal of Cancer reported that increasing doses of I3C (found in vegetables such as broccoli) and genistein (a soy isoflavone) to two prostate cancer and two breast cancer cell lines. The result was a rise in levels of certain proteins which repair damaged DNA. Additionally, when I3C and genistein were added in low doses to the cell lines together, the results were synergistic, providing greater benefit than that obtained by either compound alone.

The finding could explain, in part, the protective effect these compounds have shown against some cancers. The study is also among the first to discover a cellular explanation behind the ability of increased vegetable intake to reduce the risk of cancer.

British Journal of Cancer (2006) 94,407-426.

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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

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Support From Your Peers At Midlife

Many marriages are stressed at midlife. There are a number of reasons for this, among them the fact that people change all through their lives, but some of the biggest changes (outside of our teen years, that is) come at midlife. Often one person (usually the wife) changes before the other, and the couple no longer seems compatible.

In some cases they really aren't compatible, as they got married for the wrong reasons twenty years ago. But in other cases, they just have to hang in there and do their inner work, and can come together later at a deeper level.

I know a number of couples who have done this, some of them even having separated for a few months, or even a couple of years, before they got back together and re-established their marriage in a new 'form'. I talked to a couple in their sixties the other day, who said they were both in their fifth marriage, but still with the same partner.

Allan B. Chinen, author of Once Upon A Midlife in an interview with Bert Hoff (www.menweb.org/chineniv.htm ) says there are things we can do that are similar to what traditional societies did to help couples through this crisis:

Chinen: One is what the women's movement and men's movement are doing. Creating a place where women can get together without men, and men can get together without women, so that they can work on things apart from each other. That, of course, is what traditional, aboriginal societies do. They have men's secret societies for mature men, and women's secret societies for mature women, so that you get the support of peers. When you separate you can sort things out, what's projection in the relationship and what's not.

What about you? Are you a part of a men's group? I can tell you from experience that it is very helpful. I joined a 'Middle Aged Men's' group a little more than a year ago. All nine men in the group are New Warriors. We meet every other Tuesday night for about 2 1/2 hours.

We discuss all kinds of issues in this group. Everything we talk about is confidential, (just as in a traditional 'men's secret society') and the stuff we deal with ranges from our marriages, to problems at work, to issues with each other. It is a very powerful place for the members to work through issues in their lives.

Having said that, not all men's groups are equal. I attended one in Vancouver about nine years ago, and it was not very effective. The young (thirtyish) man leading it did not have much skill as a leader, and in my judgement, his motivation for leading the group had more to do with his ego than any desire to be of service.

The 'Integration Groups' established after a New Warrior training are run by trained men who lead the group as part of their life mission. I recommend joining such a group, although it does imply taking the New Warrior Adventure Training, which I also recommend, with the caveat that this training is not to be taken lightly.

I know some readers of this newsletter are also members of men's groups, and I would appreciate hearing from them regarding their experiences, and advice on how to find, or establish, a good men's group.

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ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: Warning: Contains nuts.

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I do this newsletter and host the www.midlife-men.com website as a service to other men, and am happy to do so. Just the same, it costs some money, and if you would like to make a small contribution to help with those costs, I would really appreciate it. If you would like, you can make a donation at: http://www.midlife-men.com/donation.html

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The Mankind Project

The ManKind Project® offers trainings which support men in developing lives of integrity, accountability, and connection to feeling. Our trainings challenge men to develop their abilities as leaders, fathers, and elders as ways of offering their deepest gifts in service to the world.

The ManKind Project's New Warrior Training Adventure® is an intense, transformative men's initiation which invites men to forge a deep conscious connection between head and heart. The NWTA offers men a powerful, challenging opportunity to look at all aspects of their lives in a richly supportive environment.

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Got your copy of Picking Up The Burning Feather yet? It will help you on your spiritual journey.

Just go to Picking Up The Burning Feather: A Spiritual Guide For Midlife Men.

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Just For You: A Free Do-It-Yourself Retirement Planning Report

If you are a new subscriber to this newsletter, you will recall I promised you a link to a secret page on the Midlife Men's site where you can download a free 27-page report on 'DIY Retirement planning' by George Slater.

Welcome to the newsletter, and for your free report, go to: DIY Retirement E-Report , and follow the instructions.

Enjoy!

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Learn to be a Teleclass Facilitator

If you are a facilitator/speaker/professional who gives lectures or workshops, you can do it from home and make money. Teleclasses (also known as teleseminars) using telephone bridge lines, are becoming increasingly popular, and and a very inexpensive way to deliver high-quality training. I took training in teleclass leadership from Teleclass International which I highly recommend.

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Classifieds


A Destroyer of Compasses by Wade Bell, published by Guernica Editions, (Toronto, Buffalo and Lancaster UK) $15.00 Cdn

One Man's Mid-Life Crisis Led to Spain. Planning to spend six weeks, he stayed five years.

A book of stories the Toronto Globe & Mail called "an assured and sensual portrait of a culture" with "precise and ironic examples of human idiosyncracy." The review went on to call stories "gems."

Available from Amazon, E-Bay and local bookstores.
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I Need Your Questions and Feedback!

Got comments? Questions? I'd love to hear from you.

Just email your suggestions and/or questions to noel@midlife-men.com . I look forward to hearing from you. And thanks.

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Well friend, that's it for now. Again, if you enjoyed this and/or found it useful, and know of anyone else who might like it, please pass it forward. And if you have questions or recommendations, I would love to hear from you.

All the best, Noel

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