August 16, 2006
Midlife Wisdom For Men Issue #064, August 15, 2006
=========== TABLE OF CONTENTS ==========
· Letters from our readers
· Massachusetts study on Male ageing
· Book Review: The Way of the Superior Man
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Written by Noel McNaughton Midlife-Men.com (c) copyright 2006 midlife-men.com
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If you like this e-zine, please do a friend and me a big favour and forward it to him. If a friend DID forward this to you and if you like what you read, please subscribe by visiting
Midlife Wisdom for Men.
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Welcome to this issue of Midlife Wisdom for Men.
I have always assumed that the amount of testos*terone in a man's system greatly affected his 'bedroom performance'. Turns out it is not so. It may affect his desire, but not his ability. In fact, if his ability to perform is compromised, it may be the 'canary in the coal mine' that is pointing to a more serious health problem in the not-too-distant future.
There are about 1220 words in the articles in this newsletter, which should take you about four minutes to read.
All the best,
Noel
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Letters from our readers
Noel
Enjoy your postings. Re the spouse subject: (From last newsletter - ed. If only she would pause for a nanosecond before disagreeing to display some indication of thought process. Even if it is intuition, even if she is right, even if it is on principle, a delay would demonstrate a respect for diversity and individuality. This drives me nuts... It kills discussion in one fell swoop. I know that I have brainstorms and wild fanciful ideas which need to come out. It is my uninhibited way of being creative, but now not to her. George ====
Dear Noel,
I subscribed to your website newsletter, etc. in late January of this year, while experiencing and trying to understand a crisis my husband was (and is still)going through. Actually on looking back I realize that he has been on a downswing since age 52 but after living with someone for 30 or so years, sometimes you can't see things happening, even before your very eyes. Anyways, after a 3 day stint in a local hospital with EKG leads and slowing slipping into a deep depression, late November, he is on the other side now, 6-7 months after being on anti-depressants. He has dropped alcohol which I'm thankful for, and has started walking but still needs to lose weight. Dealing with his depression has been a real challenge for me.
Anyway...I just want to thank you for your words of wisdom, for putting this web site together. It has helped me more than you can imagine. I especially like the article you recently added on "avoiding arguments by using "I' -- !!!
Well… thank you once again and you can be sure I will be advising others in the same situation to check out your web site. God Bless.
Claudia
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A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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Massachusetts study on Male ageing: Ere*ctile dysfunction (ED) and Test*osterone
Ed. Note: because of the nature of the subject matter, I am obliged to use asterisks in this article for words the spam filters are likely to recognize and stop you from getting this newsletter.
The Massachusetts Male Aging Study was a community based, random sample survey of men 40 to 70 years old conducted from 1987 to 1989 in cities and towns near Boston, Massachusetts. These same men were surveyed again ten years later.
A self-administered sexual activity questionnaire was used to get an estimate of ere*ctile potency. 52% of the men had some form of ED - ranging from mild to complete.
We often assume that lower testost*erone (I'll call it T from here on) causes ED as we age, but the evidence is that the two are unrelated. It is true that T affects our libido, or desire, and as the T level drops over time (at the rate of less than 1% per year starting in the early 20s), our libido declines slowly as well.
What is needed to combat ED is oxygen.
In the past, it was assumed by the medical establishment that 95% of ED was caused psychologically, by depression, anger, and so forth, and only about 5% was physiological. But recent research suggests the truth is just the opposite: 95% of the cause of ED is physiological, and only about 5% is psychological. However, depression, anger and other negative psychological states can certainly diminish our desire, but not our ability to perform.
ED may be an early warning of impending heart disease
Arteriosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) is a serious health problem in many ageing men, and it can often show up first in the micro-arteries in the pe*nis before it shows up in the bigger arteries throughout the body. For that reason, ED is a sign that you should visit your doctor for a complete and thorough medical.
Smoking and medications can also cause ED
According to Professor John MacKinlay from the New England Research Institute in Boston, the first thing to do, if you smoke, is quit smoking, and/or get your partner to quit smoking. Also look at the medications you're on, because he has found in his work that the effects of the drugs for a disease have as big an effect on ED as the disease itself. This is especially true with hypertension and diabetes.
Exercise is the biggest key
I have read again and again how important exercise is at any age, but especially as we get older. It is also one of the most effective approaches to solving ED, which is caused by a lack of oxygen. Dr. MacKinlay says as little as thirty minutes, three times a week can have a very positive effect.
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Short Quiz.
You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Answer: Get off the children's carousel and, next time, don't drink so much!
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Book Review: The Way Of The Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Woman, Work, and Se*xual Desire
by David Deida
This book was recommended to me a couple of weeks ago, so I borrowed it from the library on CD. It is an interesting book. Different from most other men's books I've read.
Here is an excerpt from a review on the Amazon.com website by Rebecca Johnson:
"The Way of the Superior Man" is a revolutionary new look at the challenges facing the contemporary male. David Deida encourages men to live a full life and to find their deepest purpose so they can give their deepest gifts to the world. After reading this book your view of the world might change.You will hear new meanings in songs, view your se*xual relationship with much more insight and start to unravel the tangled web of life. Suddenly spirituality and se*xuality merge into an ecstatic experience.
This is more about living the poetic life than being trapped and tangled in a web of your own making. It is about breaking free and overcoming the challenges of human existence. This book mainly focuses on how men deal with their career/life purpose and women.
If you are a woman, presently living with a man who has lost his "deepest purpose," then this book will explain why a man's view of his "purpose" can make life heaven or hell. After reading this book you will see why it is of ultimate importance even in an unpredictable world. I agree with the author completely on this issue. A man cannot love a woman fully unless he is happy with who he is and where he is going.
Not only does David Deida unravel the mysteries of women, he has a profound and ancient knowledge of how men function on their deepest levels.
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Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life. Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804)
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I do this newsletter and host the www.midlife-men.com website as a service to other men, and am happy to do so. Just the same, it costs some money, and if you would like to make a small contribution to help with those costs, I would really appreciate it. If you would like, you can make a donation at: http://www.midlife-men.com/donation.html
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Wouldn't it be great to work less and play more golf? I do not of a better way to earn a part-time income, than a simple information Web site. I encourage you to check out http://passion.explore-sbi.com. You'll be amazed at how you can turn YOUR hobby into online income.
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The ManKind Project® offers trainings which support men in developing lives of integrity, accountability, and connection to feeling. Our trainings challenge men to develop their abilities as leaders, fathers, and elders as ways of offering their deepest gifts in service to the world.
The ManKind Project's New Warrior Training Adventure® is an intense, transformative men's initiation which invites men to forge a deep conscious connection between head and heart. The NWTA offers men a powerful, challenging opportunity to look at all aspects of their lives in a richly supportive environment.
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Got your copy of Picking Up The Burning Feather yet? It will help you on your spiritual journey.
Just go to Picking Up The Burning Feather: A Spiritual Guide For Midlife Men.
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Just For You: A Free Do-It-Yourself Retirement Planning Report
If you are a new subscriber to this newsletter, you will recall I promised you a link to a secret page on the Midlife Men's site where you can download a free 27-page report on 'DIY Retirement planning' by George Slater.
Welcome to the newsletter, and for your free report, go to: DIY Retirement E-Report , and follow the instructions.
Enjoy!
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Classifieds
A Destroyer of Compasses by Wade Bell, published by Guernica Editions, (Toronto, Buffalo and Lancaster UK) $15.00 Cdn
One Man's Mid-Life Crisis Led to Spain. Planning to spend six weeks, he stayed five years.
A book of stories the Toronto Globe & Mail called "an assured and sensual portrait of a culture" with "precise and ironic examples of human idiosyncracy." The review went on to call stories "gems."
Available from Amazon, E-Bay and local bookstores.
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I Need Your Questions and Feedback!
Got comments? Questions? I'd love to hear from you.
Just email your suggestions and/or questions to
noel@midlife-men.com
. I look forward to hearing from you. And thanks.
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Well friend, that's it for now. Again, if you enjoyed this and/or found it useful, and know of anyone else who might like it, please pass it forward. And if you have questions or recommendations, I would love to hear from you.
All the best, Noel