avoidance behavior

by deborah
(sarasota florida)

My husband has extreme avoidance behavior that includes lying just to not have to deal with any issues at home. He has worked away from home and has financial problems caused by some of his own poor decisions. I have tried to support him, but we are totally disconnected. He seems to think I should just sit here work teaching taking care of the house the dogs and supporting my daughter in college. He never calls or emails unless it is something completely impersonal or to answer a quick questions. He lies at times saying he will be here or do something that he knows he is not going to do. He has hurt our daughter who loves him but has felt abandoned by him. Now I just want to settle things and move on, but he does not want to do anything. I can not live this way anymore but because of the financial problems he has caused it is not easy.


Noel's response

The only I can suggest is setting some long-term personal and financial goals for yourself, and making a plan to bring them about.

Comments for avoidance behavior

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Dec 28, 2011
similar situation
by: elligirltam

Did you write your post or did I?... My husband was gone half the week on his job too. Then when he was home from work he was gone then too. So, He was home less than 20% of the time. I was left home lonely, missing him & wondering what he was up to. I did the same as you, I tried to email him & I set up a Facebook account for us to try to keep in contact while he was on the job. He would not give me the time of day... I don't know why he changed or really when it began, it started out subtle.
Now, He has left me. It has been over 3 months since he left me. He wants me to take him back. I will not. He hurt me sexually before he left & he has admitted to committing adultery on me. He has regrets now. But, I can never trust him to open myself up to him in that way again. I will not reward him by going back to him for his wrong doing. He will have to reap what he has sowed.
You need to be strong & prepare for him leaving you. Your daughter needs you. You are not alone in your husband becoming a stranger to you. Life goes on...

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