Can a midlife crisis come on all of a sudden?

The Question

My husband was happy until Christmas last year. Then in January he suddenly changed. He became moody and began avoiding the family. He works overseas. He is 45, and within four months he found a 'friend'. She is 25. Is this a midlife crisis? Please help. He wants a divorce.

Noel's response

It does sound like typical midlife crisis behaviour. I am not sure what to suggest, except to see a lawyer and protect yourself financially. He may see that divorce is not a good option.

However, even if he does leave his 'friend', he has still betrayed you, and it will take a long time to rebuild trust. See a counsellor or psychotherapist to help you figure out how to move forward in your life with or without him. Even if he does want to come back, your relationship will not be the same, so you will be starting over.