Changed Man

Around a year ago my husband went back to work after being unemployed for a year and a half. while he was unemployed he was fine although i maybe wasn't as supportive as i could have been. He was always a very loving and tactile man but that all stopped when he went back to work. He became cold and short tempered and didn't get excited about anything.


We recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. i arranged a lovely weekend away got him tickets to Motogp as he's always loved bikes and we stayed in a lovely hotel. I feel he just went along with it to please me. A few weeks ago i found out he had been sending flirty texts to some woman he knew from work, he says that's all it was. He has also been having erection problems so im sure that's all there was to it. Ever since then he has become very possessive with his phone its always in his pocket on silent. This upset me and we argued over it. He kept saying we cant go on like this.

Says he still loves me but something is missing. Now he has left me and moved in with some other bloke doing a flat share. We have a grown up son and two beautiful grandchildren, he sees them sometimes but doesn't have a lot to do with our son. He says he's not seeing anyone and im sure he isn't. I just want to know what has happened to the wonderful man i used to have?

Noel's response

It could be one (or both) of a couple of things:
- you mention you 'weren't as supportive as you could have been' while he was unemployed. I assume that means you were in fact unsupportive and perhaps critical of him. Perhaps he found that hurtful and/or undermining.

- he may be in a midlife transition, and is trying to figure out 'what his life is all about'.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Ask Noel.