confused

by Maxine
(Skegness)

I am reading all this but not sure if it is going in! My husband is nearly 40. we have 3 kids. He went to see a friend 38 who is dying. Came home said he needed a break, was searching for something, doesnt know what. So he left, said it would take him time to get over things. He doesnt know what he wants, but its not me our marriage or kids. Blames it all on me (I did have a drink problem.) I am now sober and doing well. He is already seeing a 20 year old! She is everything he said he didnt like. Skinny, tattoos and piercings! I just dont know what the hell is going on with him! Help

Comments for confused

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Feb 13, 2016
hugs hon
by: Ms. Mikiyah

Wholeheartedly, I agree with all that Noel wrote. Protect yourself, your kids & expect the worst case scenario & pray for the best. May God bless you/ your family with the proficient abundance y'all deserve Maxine.

Feb 12, 2016

by: Noel

Hi Maxine,
Not sure I can be much help. It sounds as though his age combined with his visit to his dying friend triggered a number of fears (fear his life is half over and he has not done what he 'came here for', fear of dying, fear of aging). He may be trying to recapture his youth through being with a young person.

You mention being sober, which I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that it involved a 12-step program. If so you are no doubt aware that alcoholism is a 'family disease', and often the spouse (co-dependent) needs help too. Just as often the spouse does not think they need help, but grows unhappy in the relationship with the now sober spouse.

I cannot predict whether he will come back, but it may be useful for you to prepare yourself for being single, just in case. This includes protecting yourself legally so your husband cannot leave you high and dry financially, or worse yet, run up debt you will be responsible for.

Hope this helps a little.

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