Dad leaves wife and kids to pursue dreams of being a Rock Star

by jeannine
(brooklyn ny)

My husband of 21 years joined the AA program to get sober but ended up becoming a self centered jerk. Aside from making AA his existence he is now in a band and thinks they are going to become famous. He was a drummer well before I met him, and we have had many problems over the years as he was in numerous bands over the years. Often leaving me at home when my children were small to gig rehearse etc. Things started to even out in the later years as he would still play but keep it casual and still have time for our children and myself. He has now left us to move back home with his mother and has a boomimg social life ,no responsibilities and has dreams that his latest band (consisting of all but one AA members) is going to make it big .Some of the guys he plays with have "connections". He rarely speaks to our older children anymore who are 20 and 19 and tries to fit our 12 year old son when it suits him which is about twice a month. Any input on this situation would be welcome...and he acts like the 21 years we were together is in the past and that's where it should stay....Heartbroken in Brooklyn...

Noel's response

Sounds as though he is in a major midlife transition.

As he has joined AA, my strong recommendation to you as a first step toward figuring out what to do is that you join Alanon.It is the best support I know of for spouses of alcoholics.

Comments for Dad leaves wife and kids to pursue dreams of being a Rock Star

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Feb 09, 2012
let it be
by: afroxylanthe

men say that women are weird animals, but men are weirder, if you ask me. anyway, you have to see what to do with your life without him, what benefits you can get or what help can you ask from people you trust. as I can understand he's gone for good. he got sober, he took a look around and he is now going to make your life difficult by not being there for you. if you try to stop him he might fall asleep again or accuse you for his miseries. can you stand on your own two feet? if yes, do it. he might get round some day but I don't think you can wait. can you?

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