Danger of Dabble

by Brett
(utah)

I consider myself to be an average type guy, one who enjoys the sight of scantily-dressed blossoming young females parading around, you know like at the mall, at the park, riding bikes or wherever I'm sure we can all relate. I really started liking these images, and started seeking them out wherever i could. They became more and more dominate in my mind as i nurtured this exciting stimulation. Little did I realize this lust was killing my love. I routinely shop at a local hardware store and one day this woman smiles and makes eye contact with me, I was like wow that was cool. I went on with my work day as usual but kept having flashes of her face in my mind. Day after day they became more and more fixating. I would go back there just to get another fix of her. Oh yea I'm married 37 years to my high school sweetheart, I'm 55 yrs old . I didn't think much about it being dangerous or anything, but as this goes on, about 2 weeks, I become totally obsessed with this gal. I cant sleep at night, her face wont leave my mind, not to mention her sexy body.
,I have no peace. I'm laying with my wife thinking of another woman, how dark. One day I decide to tell this woman how I feel, I tell her I cant get her off my mind. She asks if I'm single and I sheepishly admit to having been married 37 yrs. She's like what! you cant be coming in here and seeing me like this Duh. So i say your right and vow to Leave her alone but I can't. The feeling inside like when you view porno or something WILL not leave. It dominates my every waking moment.I tell her man I would really like to talk to you just for lunch or something. So the gal agrees to talk with me and I get to know the person behind the body a little and discover I was only lusting after her image in my mind not her, she was nothing like I wanted her to be, or had fantasized about. This experience totally rocked my world, my friends, I was tempted to leave everything i had for this Image in my head, it was the most powerful, dark force Ive ever felt.

I wanted to feel like a woman would still find ME attractive. After meeting with her and seeing who she really was, Divorced twice, currently engaged but just living with him right now, dating as many as 3 guys a day in between marriages, stuff stuff like that ya know. the feeling is finally fading. I believe it was the sin of the eyes, the lust that started small and grew like a wild fire consuming my every waking moment. Never had I experienced anything like this before. It was if I had no control, it was horrible. I believe God was showing me the danger of the Dabbling in LUST.