Dealing with separation and Infedility
(San Antonio, Texas)
I discovered my husband was having an emotional affair July 2014 with my friend and next door neighbor(also married). When I confronted him he said he they were just really good friends. I explained to him that this made me feel very uncomfortable and felt betrayed. he said he would no longer speak to her but it did continue. He became more and more distant until he completely shut me out. He stayed in the home for the next 6 months but things got worse. We constantly were fighting, I begged him to stop, cried constantly and began changing some of things that I had been doing wrong in the relationship but to him it seemed a little too late. He was just becoming more and more attached to her. Eventually he moved out in Feb and we are now going on 5 months being separated. He says he loves me but not in love with and that he needs this time to go through his process. He is still speaking with her and is hot and cold with me. He calls me and stops by all the time to see what I am doing or to see/speak to the kids. He constantly wants to know what I am doing where I am going and what I am up to, and I don't understand why he does this. He says he wants the marriage and he misses his family but he can't find his feelings back for me, but then he does nothing to try to work on the marriage. He continues to lie to me and says he no longer speaks to her but this is not true. His lies are hurting me the most. He told me a month ago that he did have feelings for the OW but he loved me and was going to work on us, but that has now changed and he is back to being very distant and cold. He still calls me but I just don't know what to do at this point. I love him very much but I can't continue to deal with his on and off again actions. what do I do when he calls. I don't want to be rude but i just feel i need to put my foot down. I believe he will continue his behavior as long as he knows i am sitting here waiting for him. Because we have kids i just don't know how to handle this. He says I am not the woman he fell in love with and all he wants is for me to be that person again, but it is so hard when i have been cheated on and betrayed by him and my so called friend. Is this a hopeless situation?