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As I write this - he (my husband of 36 years) is upstairs in the other room going to sleep. He is depressed - he doesn't know why - he has been like this on and off for the last 10 years.

He doesn't have any interest in sex and that would be fine except that I do. For the last 10 years of this I figured it would eventually end but now I'm thinking this is my life and I'm scared. We have talked about this- we have seen counselors for different things that have come up in the last 10 years.
I do love him and I would like to find something that will help him.

Any ideas will be welcome.

Noel's response

The only things I can suggest for the physical symptoms are anti-depressants and/or exercise (which can be very effective in lifting the symptoms of depression).

You and he both might also find the book "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie useful. She was severely depressed, and had a sudden revelation as to the cause of her depression. She now speaks internationally about it. Her website is: The Work

Comments for Depression

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Mar 02, 2012
by: Anonymous

Hi, My H did this also. He came home at 8 pm, ate dinner, and went to bed by 9pm--hardly ever spoke to me or our son. We tried the ED meds but they didn't work so I knew it was something in his head. They think alot, in the bedroom, and put their married life on trial in their head. They say nothing--at least mine did not. Then all of a sudden, one day they figure out how to solve the unhappiness issue. They find a girlfriend and fall "in-love" with her immediately because she has magically solved all of his emotional problems. She validates all of his false issues with the wife and manipulates him because she is messed up also or she wouldn't have an affair with a married man and is more desperate then he. She will try to get him to divorce you--and they do. This is infatuation only. But it sure breaks every heart in your family and tears you up inside. They are dead inside (still love you though but it is buried in the deep)and it may take many years for them to come out of it--if they ever do.

I hope this never happens to you. Maybe it is better that he stays upstairs until he comes thru this. It will hurt you less in the long run.
I hope you can get him to read Noel's recommended book and I hope that it helps him.

Hugs for you, NWF

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