do I have any hope
My husband of 48 years has just told me that he loves his "affair lady" more than me and wants to spend the rest of his life w/her... I am an active 69, he's active 66 with a 42yr old lover. They had a brief affair when she was 19 and he 42.. He told her at that time the age difference wouldn't work. About 4 yrs
ago after 23 years she appeared one day while he was in his garage...They exchanged telephone numbers. And it went from there. They only saw each other when he could find a good excuse to go somewhere.. They also saw each other a few times when my husband would go out of town for the week-end to ride his off-road bike And about 4 weeks in the summer I would be gone
on long week-ends with my daughter and son-in-law.
He was still living at our house until I kicked him out in Aug. We tried several times (2 days once, few more days once, 17 days once and just finished 7 days) he would always say he missed her too much to stay away from her, so he goes back. This time I told him to get anything that was his and move it out.
He told me he loved her more than me...But the over weeks he has told me all the things he doesn't like over there. She has a 15 yr old son and her mother who is "senile living there... He once (LIE??) that he didn't think he could grow old over there, but it looks like he has changed his mind about that. I love this man very much and would really take him back unless it takes too long, I keep hoping if he has to be over there weeks on end that he might not like it so much but on the other hand, I keep hearing "I love her more than you". Does anyone think there is a chance he will come back or do you think I have a lost marriage.
He says he loves me, but I guess he's not in love w/me.
My suggestion is you figure out what you want in your life. You seem ok with him having an affair, and then taking him back if sometime down the road he feels like it.
I recommend you see a counselor to help you figure out where you want to go with your own life, and whether you even want him with you if he does get tired of the situation with the girlfriend's household.