Do men return to their family when they waken from a MLC fog?

by Anne
(Seneca Falls, NY)

My husband of 34 years left our family fir another woman six months ago. I have been to a counselor and went through all the details of his behavior leading up to this. She gave me some articles to read that talked about the behavior of a man going through this. I could have written it myself, from the all about me attitude to the "I love you but I am not in live with you" speech. It has been six months and he has very little contact with me and absolutely no contact with our children and grandchildren. It's like he drew a line, stepped across and hasn't looked back. Everything is totally out of his character. My heart if hearts tells me he is going to realize what he has list once the fog clears and want his family back. Has anyone ever had this happen? If so, how long did it take? I am willing to wait and I keep assuring him that my love for him is unconditional and the door to our home remains open. I will not give up 38 years and the live of my life without fighting. Comments, experiences, etc strongly encouraged.

Noel's response

Some men realize they made a mistake and want to return to the family. Others don't. It sounds as though you are doing what you can to leave the door open, while still moving forward with your own life.

Comments for Do men return to their family when they waken from a MLC fog?

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Aug 11, 2013
male mlc will he return?
by: sandra

Hi, I understand exactly how your are feeling,my husband of 23years left me 4years ago after telling me he no longer loved me and we had nothing in common. up until then we had had a wonderful, loving marriage where he would tell me how much he loved and adored me. Like most men experiencing a mlc he had begun an affair with a younger woman, had hit the gym and began having countless tattoos and dressing like a 20 year old. he was actually 50 when all this began.
I have tried desperately hard to rebuild my life and move on yet somehow I still hope he will come back. I miss him so much and feel very lonely at times even though I have a wonderfully supportive family. I know that I am not the only woman out there going through this so finding this site is a blessing as it enables you to communicate with others who understand exactly what your going through.
To all of you who have contributed to this site I thank you and most of all wish you all the very best and hope that you eventually find some happiness and peace in your lives.

Feb 27, 2013
Either way you'll get thru it
by: Michele

Dear Anne
I went thru exactly thru the same thing. For almost 30 years my Ex was a devoted husband and family man. I was totally devistated when he told me he fell in love with his co worker and couldn't bear life without her. I had always felt that even tho he was going thru a mid life crisis that he would never leave me and my daughter, but he did. I did not leave the door open. I filed for divorce 6 months later. I understand totally why you would want to wait, but don't wait too long, it could hurt your prospects of finacially getting what you deserve after all those years. I've seen many women become monetarily poor after their husbands leave them for another woman.
I do still miss my husband, but mostly my family unit. It was totally obliterated when he walked out the door. You see we have an only daughter and we were quite the threesome. After my husband left, my daughter will have nothing to do with him. It could change, but I think its going to be a long time.
I have a new boyfriend now and he is wonderful. Thank God my daughter likes him. I also got another Golden Retriever after my husband left. It is starting to feel like a resemblance of a family now. We had a first Holidays with Family and friends. It was great!
I hope the very best for you! Pls. write me back if you have any questions. Its a hard club to belong to.
Very Very Best with Lots of Love and Support Coming Your Way!
Michele

Feb 26, 2013
Do Men Return When The Fog Lifts?
by: NWF

Hello Anne, please see other posts that i have commented on and read all that you possibly can on website: midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com about MLC and other info and shown of the left column of that site. You can also join the forum and tell your story, many will come along and support you there. You ARE NOT ALONE and this is not your fault..it is his journey to go thru. It is not easy, find a good friend and hold on tightly.

Hugs for you, NWF (different name on the website)

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