Do they ever come back?
Hello. I will try to be brief. My boyfriend of almost 2 years stopped all contact with me when he found out his sister was not going to live much longer. One day everything was 'normal' with us - on phone every day, weekends together, ongoing plans for the future and then nothing. We were talking on the phone the last day we spoke and he had a call come in. Said he had to take it and he'd call me right back. That was August 24th. I have heard nothing from him since then. A month later, his sister passed away. A lot sooner than he thought she would have. I went to the funeral and afterwards went to him to give him a hug and he said he'd call me later in the week. I told him I was going to the cemetery and he told me that he rather I didn't. So out of respect for his wishes I didn't go.
He never did call me. I tried calling him a few times and I left him a few texts. Nothing demanding; just to let him know I was there for him. I sent 2 letters as well saying about the same thing. He was very close with his sister and I know this has devastated him to his core. I understand how this feels as I lost my brother a few years ago.
I guess because there was no closure from him that we were over, I wonder if this behaviour is arising from the upset he is feeling about his sister. I suspect it is. Now to add to his burden, his elderly dad is not well and it is
just himself and his brother living with their dad. (Mother has passed away, as well as another sister just last spring). I would love to be there to support him but clearly he wants to be alone. I have been told by a family member that this is typically how he copes with things. Shuts down and builds a wall. From a guy's perspective, do you think it is possible that this is a major depression and maybe our relationship ending has been fall out, and if so, do they ever come back? Any advice for me? Is there anything I might be able to do to support him through this? I have not pushed him for answers. I've just let him know I am here for him and that I still love him. Again, prior to this, we had future plans. He told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he firmly believed we were meant to be together forever. It has been a total 180 and I am trying to understand his point of view. Thank you for reading this. Noel's response
He may well be depressed, and he is certainly grieving. My own experience with a major loss is that it takes about three years to recover.
As to what you can do for him, I think what you are doing now is all you can do. To push him for more contact would likely make him more distant.
You might also want to consider whether this is the man for you, knowing that if you do stay together, and perhaps get married, he will deal with the stresses that come with a relationship the same way.