Does a mid-life crisis go through stages?

by Kevin
(Ohio)

The Question


Three months ago my son and I went to New York City and had a blast. Normally I go on 4 to 5 hours of sleep no problem but since then I have been really tired all the time.

A month ago I went through a time where all I thought about was death. It really freaked me out. I dealt with that and now I am just so irritated with everything and could care less about anything. I love my son but at the same time when he is with me I just want to be left alone.

I Can't say I'm depressed but I don't joke around like I used to which was all the time. I can't think straight and it seems like my short term memory just vanished. I have the same amount of problems as I always have but I don't deal with them nearly as well as I have in the past. I'm 43 and I honestly feel like I'm going crazy.

Noel's response

Welcome to the club :-)

What you are describing are classic midlife transition symptoms. I am guessing that your loss of short term memory has mostly to do with not being able to remember words and/or people's names, which are also common symptoms of a midlife transition, and unfortunately those are symptoms of aging in general.

You mention that you don't feel as though you are depressed, but the symptoms you describe are actually common symptoms of depression in men:
* Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells
* Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns
* Irritability, anger, worry, agitation, anxiety
* Pessimism, indifference
* Loss of energy, persistent lethargy
* Feelings of guilt, worthlessness
* Inability to concentrate, indecisiveness
* Inability to take pleasure in former interests, social withdrawal
* Unexplained aches and pains
* Recurring thoughts of death or suicide

Be patient with those around you, and especially with yourself, pay attention to what is happening to you, so you can gain the maximum benefit from it.

You may find Crossing the Soul's River useful, as well as my new book: A Harley or My Wife?

And know that this stage too shall pass.

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