during midlife crisis, do they have brief moments when they are sane and have feeling?

by emily
(Uganda)

or are they 24/7 in crisis for those few weeks to 5yr period? How do they feel when they eventually snap out of it? Are they tired, fresh, ....what is it? How do they function at work, and with other people?

Noel's response

Most men do have periods of 'clarity' as they struggle through the emotional turmoil of a midlife transition. They often suffer mild to severe depression, and may lose interest in their work. A friend of mine gives talks about male depression and suicide at safety meetings in oil and construction companies. He says if a man starts missing work, doing a poor job, stopping for 'a few drinks' on the way home, he is most likely depressed, and is a candidate for suicide.

When they through the transition men are often 'the same but different' in that most stay in their relationships (including marriage), and may stay at the same job, but their values have changed. Things that felt very important before the transition may now seem trivial or unimportant. If they have made the 'inner journey' during the transition they may be more in touch with their emotions, and can be more considerate and thoughtful life partners.

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