Ex girlfriend is having our baby soon
where to start. My girlfriend and i met 4 years ago in Europe. She is 30 and i'm 43. We went out for a while, broke up, back together but only ever briefly and just stayed the night. Tried to be friends. I went back to my home in Australia. Would work on the family farm then back to Europe. We would hook up again but then go our own way. She decided that if i didn't make some kind of commitment then she would be off. She went to another country and worked. We stayed in touch. She had another relationship. I wasn't really bothered finding someone. Then i visited her after she split up. We had lots of sex. Then same old pattern. Me back to Australia. We stayed in touch. Then i went and lived with her for 2 months. Was ok but i wasn't overly happy. She tried very hard to make plans. I went back to UK. We met but decided no more. She went back and started new relationship. I was quite heartbroken/jealous. But she really meant it this time. I had 1 night stand then decided back to Australia for good. Just before i go she says her relationship didn't work and she would like to visit me at home. I was pretty shocked as i was trying to get over her. I said ok and paid half fare. She visited 1 month but we mainly worked. She went back to Uk. I said ok, lets try again over there. Day i was due
to fly out i just couldn't face going back. (really would miss my elderly mum who i lived on farm with). Said i would pay her full fare to come over. She came, we tried, she got frustrated at my lack of future plans with her. We decided ok, that really is it. And i think we both new it this time. 2 weeks before she leaves find out she is pregnant. She really wanted to keep it, me not.
She was pretty distraught. Went back to UK. Now working and trying to find good flat for her and baby due in 2 months. I feel very guilty/responsible and worry how she will cope. I am of course sending money to try and help. I have been so worried that i said we could try again. But i am mainly doing that to try and help. I don't want to go but think maybe the baby will pull as together. She of course would like me there. But i am worried that i really will want to come back home as i don't think i am head over heals with her and i don't want to live in London at all. Would it be better to just say no and we go our ways, always connected by our child or try again for our baby's sake. who knows it just may work.
Sorry for such a long story.Noel's response
Having tried to make it work as many times as you have, I see no reason to think it would work now.