HARLEY DREAMIN
by Harley
(Toronto, Canada)
The question
I am 49 year's young. I don't want to come off as petty, I know their are many problems in this world. I personally have many problems, just like every one else.
But, I think I am going through a midlife something or other, because when the chips are down, the only thing that lifts my spirits is the thought of owning and riding a Harley. I've alway's had a motorcycle (not a Harley) up until I bought a house, or should I say the house bought me.
It has been eleven years since I got my mortgage (or,the mortgage got me), and eleven years since I owned a motorcycle. For the last five or six years my only material want is a Harley.
If I were to cut out, or, at the bear minimum, cut back on some of my vices (i.e.smoking, drinking), it would obviously be very benficial to my health, and I would be able to make payments on the Harley. It would be a very tight budget, but it is possible. It sounds as if I have it all figured out.
BUT here is the problem, even if I cut back or quit certain things, I am still afraid of buying something (committing to) so expensive. If I were in my teens, 20s, or even 30s, I still would have thought this through, and then purchased the bike.
I have spokem about this with my family, and they are behind me 100%.
What am I afraid of, death? If I was dying, it would be the more reason to buy one. I know I am not afraid of riding.
I would appreciate anyone's comment's, I feel that life is passing me by, and I know what I want to do, but, I don't do it, and I don't understand why.
Noel's response
A couple of things come to mind:
- what does the Harley represent to you? In other words, what 'feeling desire' is it fulfilling in your life (e.g. feeling free, feeling young, feeling power between your legs, feeling 'cool' because you ride a Harley, etc.)?
- Does it have to be a new Harley? There have been hundreds of thousands of Harleys sold to aging boomers over the past decade. Many are for sale (a quick check on ebay today shows there are 1286 Harleys for sale, 2004 and newer. Price range from $2000 and up.)
- When you get to your death bed (it will be too late by then), will you look back an your life and regret that you did not buy the Harley?
- What is the worst that can happen (e.g. have to sell the Harley and lose a bit of money)? Is it worse than how you will feel if you don't buy it?
You might want to examine your fear of committing. Is it restricted to buying the Harley, or do you have fear of committing to things in general? If the latter, you might want to see a psychotherapist to help you deal with the fear and let it go.
