He comes and goes as he pleases

by terri
(usa)

The Question


My husband slowly started to spend more and more time away from home, until now he is here about three days a week and the other he supposedly stays at a friend's from work. he said the reason was he needed space for awhile - that it is just for while - but it has been months and no change.

He is very cold and uncaring to me and blames many things on me. I don't work as we have a handicapped daughter who is home a lot and I need to be here with her, so now all of a sudden he says I am a lazy mooch expecting him to support me.

My Dad was recently diagnosed with lung cancer which is spreading very fast and my husband is not here for me at all. He just doesn't care how much his actions are hurting me, so much damage I don't know if I can ever forgive him if he ever decides to come back and be a full time member of this family.

What makes it hard is we have two kids and I know it confuses them. I have asked if he is getting any help but there is really no communication when he is here, so he never answers me. I doubt he is though.

I am worried for my family's future. I want my husband back but I feel like i have lost him forever, so just wondering what advice you can give me.

Noel's response

My first suggestion is you talk to a lawyer to prepare yourself for divorce, which either he, or perhaps you, will instigate at some point in the future.

It sounds as though you are so hurt and angry at him that you would need to have marriage counselling even if he did decide to come back.

Decide what you want in your life with or without him, and start working toward it.

You might also suggest he move out until he has made a decision. As it is now, it sounds as though he can come and go as he likes, with no consequences.

Comments for He comes and goes as he pleases

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 23, 2011
He comes and goes
by: Anonymous

Mundo goes where he pleases.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Ask Noel.