He wants to be single

by Terry
(Australia)

The Question


We have been married for 32 years and he has left saying he wants to be single without any responsibilities. We have a 2 week old grand-daughter but he doesn't even show any interest in her. He wants to be able to go where and when he wants. He has not contacted his sons (age 30 and 31) to tell them about his plans nor does he talk to close friends. We were extremely close in our marriage and we had many plans for the future but these have all changed. Will he come back?

Noel's response

I can't say whether he will come back, but chances are he will. I suggest the book "Crossing the Soul's River" by William O. Roberts, to give you some idea of what he may be going through.

In the meantime, assuming he does come back, what do you need in your relationship as you move forward?

Comments for He wants to be single

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Feb 10, 2013
I miss him so much, but have no choice but move forward
by: Anonymous

When he said he wants to be alone it was as if I was having a very bad dream. It's been almost 4 months and he has moved on as if I NEVER existed. Sad, but true. What happened to my loving husband? We were planning to get old together and at 52 why would he want to be alone? I still love him, but have no choice to move forward. I still cry VERY much, but i'm told time will heal the wound. Take this time to know yourself, know what you really want and know that GOD will NEVER leave you.

Oct 02, 2010
He also wants to be single,drink beer and smoke weed.
by: Anonymous

Hi,
My boyfriend of 8 years left me almost 2 months ago.He had all the signs: dieting, working out, anger on top of his usual anger. It was like walking on eggshells - everything I did or didn't do upset him.

His hair was always short, but before he left started growing it out. Said he has it short for so long now just wanted to grow it out. Not like him.

When we went for our last coffee (not that I knew it was our last), it was like sitting across from a stranger. He was sitting there but not there.

When we were not working we were always together, always texting each other. There was just us. He does not have any friends but the people he works with.

When he left he put a note on my desk when I came home from work saying he no longer had feelings for me like he use to and was leaving me. Said he wanted to be single, drink beer and smoke weed.

This is a first for me. I knew he did this when he was younger. When he came back the next day for his things I tried to reason with him but could not. He just kept saying mean things to me (I know they don't mean them, but they still hurt).

I begged and pleaded but it did not matter. It was not the man I knew as he would never do this. Plus I noticed a very HIGH panic with him. Like I got to to get out now. He told a friend the ****(his name) from 10 yrs ago is back.

I know for fact he is not with anyone. I have called him once and he just tells me to move on he has moved on, and when I text he asks why can't I move on.

Yes I know he is in his own little world. I want to text him but don't now cause its always the same thing. I know its not my man I am talking to. I am truly still heartbroken.

I know in my heart he will come back. But what will it take for him to see this single life with beer and weed is not what he wants and will not make him younger. What will it take to make him snap out of it. I am waiting for him to return.

Jun 20, 2010
mlc
by: Anonymous

I think their grandchildren confirm in their eyes that they are old/ aging etc. and they don't like it!

And the wife is now a grandma! They want different! They want the opposite of what they have. They leave their wives when we are middle aged and find other women.

During this mlc they do not care how they are hurting us. The trouble is by the time they think about coming home it's too late. By that time most of us have changed - have moved on and then we stop caring! It's sad! Entire families destroyed all because he can't face getting older!!


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