Help before i self destruct.
I'm 37 and have been married 15 years. I did not have a good childhood or many friends.
For a few months I've been having a lot of anxiety and depression. I've lost a lot of weight and my music tastes have changed. I want to hang out with younger people and be more social in general. I text my niece and her friend as its easy to talk to them and fun.
My wife is trying to be very supportive. The last few years there was a lot of fighting and frustration. I feel that with this transition the frustration and anger is gone and we have a better relationship but I cant stop wanting to be with other people and do other things.
I cant stop this depression and anxiety and tightness in my chest. I feel like I don't belong. I have such a need to belong and be wanted I could have an affair. I feel like I'm going through a MLC and I read a lot online and direct my wife to the articles too to understand what I'm going through.
How do I go through this without destroying everything I've built up? How do I make these feelings and thoughts stop?
I don't think you can stop the feelings and thoughts, but you CAN avoid acting on them. It is a difficult time, but it will pass, and you will grow from it.
If you have not tried seeing a psychotherapist I recommend it.
I also recommend the books 'The Way of Transition' by William Bridges, and 'Crossing the Soul's River' by William O. Roberts Jr.
I don't know where you live, but if there is a New Warrior Training Adventure near you, I recommend that as well: The ManKind Project