How could a husband acknowledge he might be having midlife crisis? Who may suggest that to him?

by keeping the faith

I know it's not going to help me to tell my husband, 33, who told me he wants a new life without me in it, that he may be going through midlife crisis. Especially not when he says he's not lost anymore. That he knows he's happy being alone and that he doesn't think he wants to have kids at all. Why this is hard for me to comprehend is because we lived a happy married life for the past 4 1/2 years and 4 good years of relationship before that. Yes, it wasn't perfect and we had disagreements along the way but we sorted those out without fights, abuse, hurtful arguments. It was just the way we treat each other, our personalities and respect. That's why even in this crisis, we had both been calm, except from my crying of course. He has constantly told me how happy and blessed he was with me, until last October when he started to become distant. The only event that was happening that time was his long-awaited promotion, which had been stressful, but supposed to be a good change.


So I wondered, while I seem to be in this battle alone, who can I turn to or what can I do to maybe give him a hint that he might be going through a midlife crisis and consider not going for separation just yet?

Comments for How could a husband acknowledge he might be having midlife crisis? Who may suggest that to him?

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Apr 12, 2013
@NWF
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your input. No matter how hard and painful, I do try to do that. I know it seems too early for him to be having MLC. I wouldn't have thought of it myself, except there are signs and symptoms which seem to point to that direction, that's how I came across this site.

Really appreciate your advice.

Apr 06, 2013
How could a husband acknowledge he might be having.......
by: NWF

I think he is too young for a midlife crisis and that he may be using that as an excuse. Please read the other posts here for a website to read about MLC at.

MLC does start with low-level depression and withdrawal and then it moves on to blaming you, the spouse, for his unhappiness and then they find another woman(OW), any woman for emotional support,and then they split.

If he wants a separation or divorce, LET HIM DO ALL THE WORK in that direction. DO NOT bring up these subjects and put ideas in his mind.

A mild MLC will pass shortly (1 to 1.5 years) but he will be distant towards you. Give him his space and do not argue with him...just go into the other room and tell him that you will be in the other room if he wants to talk.

Try to stay calm and do not cry if front of him... too much emotional burden for them. Let him make decisions on his own...do not help him or mother him...he will hold that against you.

Validate his concerns but do not accept false issues; just say I'm sorry you feel that way about .....!

Hugs for you.

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