How did your wife deal with your MLC

The Question


How did your wife deal with your midlife crisis? How long did it last for you?

My husband is starting in on his fourth year!! Very irritable, self centered, no compassion, no affection and very stand offish. Keeps saying his life is half over and is drinking, etc.

It is as if I do not even exist. Very frustrating and hurtful to me. Says very hurtful nasty things about everyone. How in the world do you cope with a man in midlife crisis?

There have been times when I just want to throw in the towel, but keep praying and hoping God will work a miracle. Oh that is another thing, he is blaming God and does not really believe in him? Is this normal behaviour? Please any advice would be appreciated.

Noel's response

My midlife transition lasted about five years. Elizabeth was going through a similar transition at the time, and we both had 'up days' and 'down days', but not usually at the same time.

The gift that Elizabeth and I have in our marriage is that we have both been through much personal growth over the years, and along with loving each other, like and respect each other as well. When one was having a down day, the other was able provide encouragement and solace.

We have learned not to blame others for how we feel, and were careful not to be verbally abusive, as we have both had that kind of spouse in the past, and it is very painful.

My only advice is that you use a little 'tough love', and let your husband know that you will not accept verbal abuse from him. It is not ok, and you do not deserve it. This brings with it the proviso that you be willing to take necessary action (cessation of your physical relationship, separation, or whatever) if he does not choose to become more considerate.

Comments for How did your wife deal with your MLC

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Mar 02, 2010
mand i krise i ½ år
by: Anonymous

hej jeg er kvinde på 35 og min mand er i midtvejskrise. Han er 38 år. Vi har 2 børn sammen på 6 og 9 år. Krisen har varet i ce. 6 mdr. Han er verbalt uretfærdig og lukker sig indeni sig selv, falder i perioder ned i sorte hullet, hvor han nærmest er depressiv. Vi havde er kanon forhold før. Der er 3 ting. Er stoppet som elitesportsudøver, meget træt af sit job. Elsker sig stadig, men har også følelser for en forvirret smuk kvinde på hans arbejde. Siger alt det rationelle er hos meget og børnene, og at han forsøger at komme til fornuft. Hvor længe tager dette. Det er ikke rart at høre om de kriser i skriver om, der varer år. Er der ikke tegn på det snart slutter ? Synes det går bedre. hvordan forholder jeg mig i ventetiden. Jeg forsøger at leve mit eget liv, men elsker ham højt. Træn ger til sikkerhed i mit liv. Har i nogle positive erfaringer. Tolker på ail hvad han gør. Hader mig selv for dette. Hilsen den utålmodige.

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