How do I behave when he visits?

by Terry
(Australia)

The Question

My husband of 32 years left last week to be single without responsibilities. He is visiting me in 2 days. How do I speak to him? What should I avoid?

Noel's response

The key is to know what you want. If you don't know, get some counselling or coaching to help you figure it out.

Do you even want him to come for a visit?

Don't bother worrying about what to avoid. Speak your truth. He wants to be without responsibilities. Don't give him anything for 'free' (e.g. any kind of help... financial, emotional, etc.). He made a choice. All of our choices have consequences. Let him feel the consequences of his choice.

Talk with your lawyer too, in the event this ends in divorce. He has legal responsibilities, and you have legal rights.