How do I deal with him leaving after 16 yrs?
My common law husband of 16 yrs packed up and left me, after I found text messages and telephone calls between him and another woman. We have two sons 15 and 4 and this happened a week before Christmas. I am having such a bad time accepting this. I don't call him and badger him to come back home, but i want to so badly. he still pays the rent and helps with the boys. He told me the day he left that he is not committed to me and his heart doesn't skip a beat for me anymore. It so hard to deal with it especially seeing him everyday. I feel like I'm drowning I can't breath. At work the walls feel like they are closing in on me. He told me he just needed someone to talk to and I wasn't there. I feel like just telling him that I love him and always will. I feel so lost.
I can only suggest that you 'keep on keeping on'. As with all things, this too shall pass, even though it is very painful right now.
You might want to talk to him about a formal separation agreement, to establish the conditions such as formalizing his financial support, visitation with the kids, etc. A mediator might be useful in this regard.
I think you are right in not calling him and badgering him to come home, etc.