How do I help my partner?

The Question

My partner of 16 years decided 3 months ago he did not have the same feelings for me anymore and was unhappy. For a few weeks he made a concerted effort to do what he thought I wanted. He started a job working away last year but recently has been returning home during the week and staying at friend's without telling me. When I found this out and asked him about this he left.

He is very hostile toward me and snaps at the least thing which is very out of character. We have had our share of ups and downs but this is very different.

Since leaving he returned last week to pick up some clothes and I spoke to him about how he was feeling - he said he was numb, didn't care about anything and would not be the slightest bit concerned if he died tomorrow, he would however be very upset if I did!

He wants no contact with me at all (again this is unusual we have separated before due to my mid life crisis and still remained firm friends).

How do I help? I fear he will throw his life away and wake up with nothing.

Noel's response

I don't know that you can help, except to perhaps see a counsellor yourself to get some insights on how to handle this crisis in your own life.