How do you change so fast and lose all feelings?
I've been married 26 years my husband and I are both 46, he's a firefighter/Paramedic and has a business on the side. I quit a job from the state to work with him on his business and to be with the kids. We have four, who are now adults.
Our Marriage has been a great one, we have done many things together cruise's, vacation in the Keys many years some with just us and then with the kids. He has always been hot headed with no patience and I have plenty which worked out great.
In 06 I broke my ankle and have had many surgeries on it, in Nov of 09 I had it fused. He had changed his job from fire to EMS which was hard but he loved. It had many changes some good and some bad, he was always tired and I did my best to make sure when he got home house was clean, and dinner was ready with a cooler of beer. We had two children living at home then - one in High School and the other having problems adjusting to life after 3 years in the army. He wasn't happy about the older one living there and we all knew it.
At the end of Sept 09 he's EMS job was dissolved and he went back to fire and was very unhappy he didn't get placed back at his station. We went on a cruise with his F/F friends and the second night he told me he didn't love me, he wanted to move out that he has been unhappy for two years. I had no clue, I knew the kids and work was taking a toll on him I didn't know it was me.
He wanted to try in March, we went out to dinner and he told me then he didn't know if he ever loved me that it was cause of the kids he was with me. Wow! We went to his place had sex and I went home. The next day he told me he felt really bad about that night and he didn't have any energy in him to try.
It's been 11 months since he moved out and we are working on the papers for the divorce. He says there is no one else.
I don't understand what I have done? Why he's so mad at me? But yet it looks as if he still loves me? How do you wake up one day and lose it all? Why don't they care? I am moving on, not happy about it but I have no other choice. Do they ever wake up and want to come home?
You didn't do anything wrong. He is mad because he is going through a transition. It can come on suddenly, and seem as though it has been there all along.
Some men leave, and later come back. Some don't. You are doing the right thing by moving on. It is always possible for you and him to get back together down the road if ou BOTH still feel like it. (It is possible you won't, even if he does.)