How early can someone go through a midlife crisis?

My boyfriend who is 28 and I know that that is early from the research that I have done but is actions seem like he quite possibly could be going through a midlife crisis. We have been fighting non-stop for almost 6 months but we seemed like we were trying to work thru things. Then all of a sudden he decided that he didn't want a girlfriend anymore because he felt restricted and wanted to be free to do his own thing. He has decided that he does not have any friends anymore and has started going out a lot more and meeting new people (usually in their early twenties). He also quit his job, bought a new sports car, bought a condo in downtown (we live in the suburbs), and went on a week long trip to Mexico with his friends, all within a week. While he was in Mexico he decided that he needed to be a better boyfriend and compromise more then a month later he moved out of the house into the condo full time. We still were together and were trying to work thru things and he kept saying that he just is not ready for a serious relationship but when he is ready he wants to marry me. Now a month later he decides that he just wants to be completely alone and now is not sure if he will ever want to get married.


Like I said, I know he is young to possibly be having a midlife crisis but it seems like he has a lot of the characteristics.

Noel's response

It sounds as though he is in a transition, just not a midlife one. Daniel Levinson, in his book The Seasons of a Man's life says we go through a transition about every ten years, and if we don't manage one transition very well, we could find the next one difficult. That may be what happened to your boyfriend. Perhaps in his 'Junior adulthood' transition (around age 17-23), he didn't do the tasks appropriate to that transition, so this one is a struggle for him.

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