how to save my marriage from spouses affair and midlife crisis

by Joyce
(michigan)

spouse is having affair during midlife crisis, should I leave or tell him to acknowledge his crisis


his mistress work for him and is younger with her own issues

Noel's response

Rather than tell him to acknowledge his crisis, which he may deny he is having, you might tell him that you will leave if he does not end the affair and go to marriage counseling with you. Before you do that, you need to be sure within yourself what your choices for yourself are (i.e. will you leave if he does not meet your demands? Can you truly forgive and trust him in the future if he says he will end the affair?)

Comments for how to save my marriage from spouses affair and midlife crisis

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Jan 17, 2015
I am sorry
by: shenangins

I agree I have been separated from my husband 6 months. We have been married 4 years and 7 months. I was with my husband for 4 years before we got married. My husband brought this girl to my house and she was the age of our daughter my stepdaughter. I have been reading a lot on midlife crisis and after the affair and have many books on what to do to rebuild our marriage. I know its super hard cause your on a roller coaster and some days you r like I cannot believe this is my life and some days your like its my marriage I cannot give up. I promise if u try to stop it your chance for divorce is greater. My husband had this girl their for 3 months because I would make excuses I forgot something and get it. So I knew if she is still around. I guess just try to stay away and know most affairs don't last very long because their build on illusions and lies. I do offer u hugs try to listen to music that makes u happy. Ow ya I got a new labtop cause I had his. He brought her with. I had to control my emotions and it was super hard to ignore her. My husband has always been shy walked up to the dude and was like we need a labtop because she likes to do this. I was excited he said we. Then we got by the register and their was a star wars thing he loves star wars. It was a medal model kit. I showed it to him and the girl he was having an affair with said u like star wars. He was like ya. I was like score for me. I was so angry I sent him a text that said it must be nice to be with a stranger huh. They broke up like three days after. I am a daycare teacher at a religious daycare and my kids r always saying I love u and we pray all the time. I guess my husband has not asked me to come home yet, but has not filed for divorce. This is something we have no control over we just have to take care of yourself. I know its super hard cause I wanted to be a couple that was married for a long time my parents were married for 21 years then my dad died. Good luck and God bless~!When it happened I locked my keys in my car left my lights on so my battery went dead. It gets easier.

Apr 07, 2013
MLC advice
by: Anonymous

MLCer's will not stop the affair because you told him to....no way! Nor will he go to counseling! Please read the advice given to other people here. Also, he needs to leave, not you. He will anyway if he is in MLC...and go right to the OW--> let him go and give him much space. He is very confused right now. MLC takes years to get over so hold onto your hat and read the recommendations in the other's comments.

Hugs to you.

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