Husband in midlife crisis ?

Question


My husband met another woman & moved in with her after he claims he'd only known her for four weeks. He is nearly 53yrs old. She is 39 yrs old. My husband & I became grandparents for the first time 10 months ago. The other woman has a 9yr old daughter.

Since my husband left me four months ago he is crying most nights. Can someone explain to me why, being as he left me to have a happier life? Or is it the guilt making him cry & will he ever get over it?

Noel's response

On the surface it sounds very much like a midlife crisis. I do not know what your marriage was like before he left, so I don't know what else is going on.

Although I don't know why he cries every night, I suspect at least part of it has to do with him just being confused about his life right now. Time is passing faster, his life is changing, and he doesn't know what to do.

If this is the case, this too shall pass.

Of course I could be totally wrong about why he cries!

Noel

Comments for Husband in midlife crisis ?

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Nov 04, 2011
Live your life
by: Anonymous

My advice to anyone whose spouse is having an MLC is stop whatever you are doing to make them happy and figure out what you want to do with the rest of our life. Then do it.

Jul 03, 2010
the aftermath of mlc
by: Anonymous

after I left I started exercising and dieting. I now look great. I also started dressing a little sexier because I started feeling better.

before his mlc I was overweight and couldn't care less about my appearance but not anymore.

I question now- was I happy- was I content?

I was unhappy and never had the time before to consider these things.

He is a stranger to me now. I no longer feel close to him. His o/w will always be between us.

his mlc not only affected him -it has affected me as well. I don't want to return to him or it.

My Dad use to say be careful what you wish for it just might come true.

Jun 19, 2010
been there done that
by: get on with it

i thought after 35 years of marriage that during his mlc and other women including a live in mistress that I would die. After 4 years of it I had enough! The mistress in the end didn't want him and now neither do I. I left and it was the best thing I have done in my life. Too much damage was done and I no longer feel as I did before.

I was afraid to leave, to be alone, but I was more alone when I was with him. I can now say I am happy. It's sad but that's life!

So I say to all of you waiting around for him to change - WASTE OF TIME!!!!

Want real peace? Get out because there is a stranger in your house who isn't leaving anytime soon!!!

Nov 10, 2009
husband in midlife crisis
by: Anonymous

I wrote a while ago about my 53 yr old husband & his 39 yr old mistress. Since my previous write up I have met him for a few hours, he tells me he can't write off over 30 years & not a day goes by when he does not think of me.

His eyes were full of tears & he had to support his chin because it was quivering. I had told him via text 3 weeks earlier that i loved him & wanted him back. He text me back saying he had not changed his mind.

Saw him again for 6 hours a couple of days ago. He kissed me on the lips when i met him. we had a nice relaxed time & when he left he told me he wants to see me again, he then said to me, but you want more.

I must add 4 months prior to him leaving me my mother died which devasted me & i went into deep grieving with some anger. 18 months prior to my mother dying, my elder sister died. I also admit I did neglect him during the last year of my mothers life.

But I had no choice, Husband also lost his job 2 years ago, for 18 mnths now he's been in a job that is very stressfull.

I have been told his mistress does not wait on him & goes off doing her own thing. I'm assuming she does not cook for him or do his washing, bearing in mind he works 11 or 12 hours a day Mon-Fri.

He told me he does not want a divorce & wants to remain friends & see me regularly. I'm considering seeing my solicitor & having a letter sent to him asking him to admit to adultery & then go no further & just wait & see what happens. Or do you think this would throw him further to his mistress.

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