Husband Left After 25 Years of Marriage-Totally Bewildered & Betrayed

by Betrayed & Bewildered
(Vero Beach, FL)

I would like to know if this situation fits into mid-life crisis. We have been married 25 yrs, husband recently retired (62 yrs old) and we moved into new home. The year we were in the house he constantly criticized or put me down. He was gone all day until 7 or 8 pm. Constantly on his cellphone or computer or gone on vacations with his buddies. Eventually, I found out that he had been having an affair with another women in the past year . He met her at work (before he retired). Said it was fate, he did not love me anymore, she was so right for him. I kicked him out. He gladly went. Eventually he took every item he owned out of the house into her house where he now lives. I went through the anger stage and now I am able to talk to him without emotion & not about what occurred.

Now he calls about once a week to see how I am, how is everything. Comes by to check on the house. Is taking care of us financially. But also hasn't brought up divorce and when I did, said he was not in a rush and wants to wait until next year. I agreed, however, I'm not sitting here waiting for him. I am taking care of me and am starting a new life. I hope I am making the right decision not to push for divorce now.

Noel's response

If you are not in a rush for a divorce, there is no reason not to wait. I think you are wise to move on and take care of yourself.