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Husband Moves Out

by Becca
(North Carolina)

I am very confused. Until last January, I feel we had a great marriage. We never fought over money or household chores, we were passionate and loving toward each other, and we worked to make the other happy. In January my husband turned 50 and I turned 49. In a week or so after that event, he told me one morning out of the blue that he was unhappy and things didn't "feel" right. He wanted to move out. I talked to him about it, and he wound up moving into another room. A week goes by, and he asks to come back into our room together. I take him back gladly, a little worried at what will happen next. Two or so more weeks go by, and right before Valentine's day he tells me he still feels the same and wants to move out. I talk to him again, feeling very insecure and unwanted. He stays and moves into the other bedroom again. This time only lasts a few days, then he apologizes and asks to come back. Things seem better for a few weeks, then it happens again. This time he finally seeks a counselor, and has one session. When he comes home, he wants us to work things out. Two months go by, and then Thursday morning of this past week he tells me that he is still not happy and planning to move out. I am so sad and disappointed, and I cried and cried. He goes to work, so do I, and when we get home that night I am trying to discuss things with him. He leaves to go out looking for a place. When I get home from work the next day, his things are all gone. He says he will contact me sometime soon and will paint the house. He is unemotional and sounds like he is talking to a stranger. I have thought he was depressed for a few months, but is he going through a midlife crisis too?

Noel's response

He could be both in a midlife transition, and depressed.

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