husband wants to have ex-girlfriend back

My husband reconnected with his ex girlfriend of 20 years and both have been emailing. To the point he wants to meet with her. I found out when accidentally he left his email open. I read some of the emails and I just can not believe what I was reading.


I only asked him if he still love me and he said yes. One of the email he tells the ex that I have trust him always. Is my marriage over? what can I do?

Noel's response

I don't know what you read in his emails, so don't know the true situation, but it sounds as though he may be having an 'emotional affair'.

So far all he wants to do is meet with her. Perhaps that will be all that is necessary for him to let go of his picture of her as a younger woman.

Perhaps you have had the experience of remembering someone from your past, and they get 'frozen' in the time you knew them. Then you meet them 20 or 30 years later, and they have continued to age in real life, and they are nothing like the young person you were carrying in your mind all this time.

You don't state your husband's age, but as I have mentioned in other places, when Elizabeth and I were in our early fifties, we both began to 'mull over' our earlier lives, including thinking about a previous boyfriend or girlfriend.

We were both able to meet with our previous paramours (we were not threatened by the idea as we knew we were totally committed to each other), and it was good to meet with them, as it brought them 'up to date' in our minds, and we could let them go.

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