Husbands emotional affair.

by Julir Reese
(Maryland)

My husband came to me abt a year ago and said that he didn't know if he loved me or not anymore. I found out 3 months later that he had been having an emotional affair/friendship with another woman. When I found out and confronted it he was supposedly giving up the relationship. I just found out after 6 months that he has a separate phone so they can talk behind my back.


He doesn't want to give up on us, but does not want to give up the friend. Does this sound like a midlife crisis? I feel that he is so messed up and not making good decisions right now.

Noel's response

It does sound like a midlife crisis, and although he may not be making good decisions right now, you have a right to insist he give up the 'friend' if you choose.

I suggest marriage counseling if he is willing to go.

Comments for Husbands emotional affair.

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Dec 03, 2014
obsession
by: Anonymous

My husband never told me he did not love me but was obsessed with this female coworker. They were texting around 5,500 texts per month. His emotional affair lasted over 20 months and he insists they were just friends. He called her immediately after work and texted her first thing in the morning, he texted with her all night at home and went to bed early to text for an hour of uninterrupted time. He lied about her and hid the relationship. They texted even at work and spoke on the phone during the day and on weekends. Hiding of course. He says he never loved her and they only talked about things at work and her problems. He admitted that he had sexted with her four time but only participated once. His female friend liked to read sex novels and wanted my husband to tell her stories after reciting the sexual stories to him. I was suspicious and told him of my feelings and he ignored me. Finally I was able to get his phone which was always attached to his hip and discovered that he and she had told each other "I love you Babe." This occurred when she and her husband were on their way to our home for a party. He says he did that because she had blackmailed him to say it and that it was over and he told her that. Apparently she had, in his words, "badgered him" to tell her he loved her and he finally gave in. She then told him she had him. Since that fateful day we have been in turmoil. I don't know how I feel except to say he is a liar, sneak, and cheat. I do still however love him and am in shock that he could be so cold and callous. He is trying to mend our marriage now but I don't know if this was a midlife crisis, he was 52 when the affair started, and if I can trust him again or am I being played. Does midlife crisis behave this way?I do not believe he talks to her any more.

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