i am the confused other women.

a man i have been working with for 5 yrs suddenly started paying a lot more attention to me. he is 20 yrs older than me. he actively pursued me for several weeks before i finally gave in and gave him my phone number. you should know we are both married. we had a 9 month affair.i never expected anything from him really. i knew we were pretty much on a dead end road. i just couldn't see him leaving his wife and bringing home a women not much older than his daughter. but i fell for him anyway. He was so good to me. always said the nicest things. he never pushed me into anything. we truly enjoyed each others company. we spent as much time as possible together. sometimes we had whole days together that we would spend out at the lake.we became intimate. we would steal hugs and kisses at work whenever no one was around but the last month or so he changed. he was running hot and cold. after riding that roller coaster for awhile i finally asked him what was up. this is what he told me. he said he had feelings for me that he shouldn't have and the more he is with me the stronger they get. knowing that neither he nor i could give anymore, he decided to end it. he said he would probably always have feelings for me. he asked if we could still be friends. i was heartbroken. mostly because i can't decide if he meant those things or if he just used me. we have remained friends somewhat. he keeps asking me at work if i hate him. i tell him no. the most confusing part is he still texts me every morning to say good morning and every night to say good night and sweet dreams..if he ended it why is he still texting me?? can you help me understand what happened here?


Noel's response
My guess is he took a look at his whole life, and the very real consequences to him and his family if you and he carried on, and the cost would be too high. He may also have learned what he needed to learn from the affair (whatever that was), and although it may have been a hard decision, decided it was best all around if he ended it with you.

I suggest you ask him to stop texting you. If the affair is over, it is over.

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