I asked my husband to move out of the house

by MARY
(GEORGIA)

My husband announced 10+ months ago that he has been unhappy for 12 years. Since the announcement he has not really spoken to me about anything of significance. I asked him to move out of the house on July 24, 2013 because I could no longer live with him- a person who ignores me; pretends that I no longer exist; and continues to socialize with men and women and I am not invited.


Was this a big mistake on my part to ask him to move out of the house?

We has been married for 23.5 years.

Noel's response

It sounds to me like a reasonable thing to do given his behaviour.

Comments for I asked my husband to move out of the house

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Sep 16, 2013
I asked my H to move out of the house
by: NWF

Hello Mary, I have seen this so many times before. He is in a low-level depression and looking for others to get some validation from and emotional support (from new friends) as he feels nothing inside right now due to the depression. All I can say right now is that it is not your fault, don't listen to his stories, and give him space and time, much time, validate his issues without fighting to win the battle...just let it go. His mind is very busy right now and he will blame things on you, don't buy into it. You did not mention your ages but did say you have been married for 23 years or so. Go to the web site: TheHerosSpouse and read the articles on midlife crisis...all of them, especially the first set. You will get the best info out there on this subject from this site. There is a forum that you can join to get advise from others. We have all been there and all will support you. It is a place to talk and when it gets overwhelming, you can come to us. Leave your H to his crisis (if it has reached that point yet). It is better to have him at home if you can handle his separateness from you and the family....and be very very patient. Get your own life, for now, and leave him to his. No pressure, no begging, no pleading, no crying...his EMOTIONS are running wild and he can not handle those things right now. Find a happy place for you and get ready to be separate (in the same house)for a long time...possibly. Others will not understand this process so don't even bother to find advice from them...unless they have been thru this before (a depressed spouse or midlife crisis). It will become very frustrating for you, try to breath!!!

HUGS for you, find your best friend and hold on tightly..it gets worse before it gets better. Sorry you have to deal with this situation. NWF

Sep 16, 2013
You made the right decision =D
by: Miki from WI

Hello Mary:

As a married woman, you too have an inherent right to establish your own boundaries with a man you have been married to for more than 2 decades.

What you did is NOT easy, and you may need to remind yourself that you may be standing alone, but you remain a woman full of pride, integrity and the knowledge you did your best.

Hats off to you Mary! =D :-) 8>

His failure is just that, HIS, not yours. It's His great loss. I may not know you but I can guess that you are a great catch for the right man! Please do NOT sell yourself short.

Hug yourself for me Mary =D!
I am proud of what you did & offer big bear hugs to you my GA friend. :-)

Remember: Head up, chin out, spine erect & beautiful smiles on your face as you move forward with your wonderful future. The real man you need is out there waiting to find you Mary, the pure treasure you naturally are!!! May the Divine bless you in your journey! =D

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