I caught my husband talking to another woman

by P Hull
(Kansas)

Question

I caught my husband talking to a woman on a strange cell phone the second day after we got back from vacation.

He was in the motor home and I heard him say I love you, I love you and dont worry about Sandy, she is nothing. I walked in and asked what's going on and he didn't say anything.

Two nights later he came in and said it was done, and he wanted to work on our marriage. But since then he has gotten off our cell phone plan and has a private cell phone. This way I can't check calls.

I would go online and look at all the calls we both made, and they didn't mean anything till that night he had called her while I was in the shower at the motel we stayed at.

Now he wants more alone time. Does he not know how to deal with the guilt? I trusted him 100%. I want my marriage but I'm beginning to wonder about him. He doesn't want to spend time to repair our marriage, he is always with the guys. Does he want a divorce or what?

Noel's Answer

I don't whether your husband wants a divorce, but if he wants to keep your marriage together, he has a funny way of showing it. His getting a private cell phone, and spending a lot of time "with the guys" certainly makes him look untrustworthy.

Perhaps your best strategy is to simply confront him with his actions, and ask that he either commit to actively working on your marriage (e.g. going to marriage counselling), or move out.