I don't know if it's a mid life crisis

by Richard
(Kentucky)

The Question


I have been married to my wife for 32 years. We have raised 3 children and they are grown and on their own. We have an empty home.

I have always wanted to sail around the world, I am 57 I am in great health,and do not have any of the classic symptoms of mid life crisis, such as spending sprees, job changes, cars, women, school, I just want to do something that a lot of people have not done. Something to make me feel that I have done something with my life.

I just don't want to do it with my wife. Not because I don't love her but because she would be doing it for me not because she would enjoy it, and that would make me not enjoy what I was doing. She is an artist and a land lubber.

We are separating. She Is fine with all of this and very supportive, I guess maybe she realizes that she will finally be able to do what she has always wanted to do also without any constraints from me.

So what I am asking is this still a midlife crisis or is it something else, such as two people who have come together to raise a family and decided to leave each other as the best of friends with no regrets. Confused

Noel's response

My guess is that it is the latter, although you desire to 'feel that you have done something with your life' does have a bit of a midlife transition feel to it.

If you are both fine with separating, it does sound as though there is not much keeping you together anyway.

You might try a few sessions of marriage counselling in order to get help talking through the decision to make sure there is nothing hiding under the surface that is not being addressed, and that might cause you problems later.

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