I Don't Want To Leave My Wife, But....
I am in my mid 40s and still very active. Physically I keep myself in very good shape and have not changed much since my 20s.
Since the birth of our 2nd child (more than 12 yrs ago) our sex life has stopped (once every couple of months or less). My wife comes from a conservative family in which she was taught sex was dirty and was necessary for children ONLY.
She has let herself go and has no interest in making herself look better. She constantly complains that she is fat but eats a bag of chips while she is complaining. I travel a lot and although the opportunity presented itself a number of times, I never strayed until recently. I met a nice girl who made me feel attractive and competent again. My wife makes me feel ugly and stupid.
Anyway, one thing led to another and... it was fun for a while but then turned into a nightmare. Rather than have a Tiger wood incident, I did fess-up and took the heat. I thought we had moved on but, that too, was short lived.
I have always been one who took on a challenge head on but in this case I just want to leave. In a few years our kids will leave the nest and then I fear so will I, thus ending up like so many other couples who stay together just for the kids.
My wife is a great friend and we still like to do stuff together but I didn't get married to have "just a friend". I could understand if I was a fat slob who was constantly groping after her but that is not the case. I try everything to keep my appearance up, I compliment her, help her around the house and try to take as much house work on so that she isn't SO TIRED.
I'm at the point where I feel I can't do anymore and that she is just taking advantage of me. I've even tried to get us into counseling but she refuses that as well. Any suggestions?Noel's response
Sounds like a tough situation. I am not sure what to suggest except to follow what you think is best. If your wife won't go to marriage counseling you might find that getting some counseling for yourself will be useful in figuring out what the right action is for you.
It is difficult when one person wants to move forward, and the other one won't.