I feel abandondoned by my husband in MLC

by Sabina
(Ottawa,ontario)

Hi Im 45 husband 46 we were together 22 years 2 teenage kids.I thought our marriage was fine sex was good. But noticed emotional distance from him for a while. He was what u call not emotionally available. Tried the long conversations I felt like I giving a sermon no result. he wouldn't open up. 6 months ago started to be closer to a coworker of his he claimed "friendship" ye right. I panicked went into total spy mode and crazy out of control backfired he already made up his mind to leave us. Just didn't bother to tell me and the kids! Upon confrontation he told us he will leave his job and stop seeing her in the new year. instead he left us!!!!When my kids asked him why did he lied he said cause I was hysterical. I was always nice to him but he claims I was bad and just HURT him. He moved out and his 40yr old girlfriend also left her husband and two kids and now they happily live and work together, both want divorce and sell houses and probably get one together. By the way I am attractive and anybody can see that she isn't not even his type, can love be this blind?? He say he doesn't love me anymore and want to start his life again! Why do i still want him back I have a good job better make twice of what he does, but I still feel I need him. After all this stunt he pulled on me, why my emotions run stronger than my rational mind. Oh I don't get it!!!


Noel's response

Our rational minds are no match for our emotions, but in some circumstances we do best by listening to our rational minds.

He may 'recover' from this current circumstance, and he may not, so there is no way of know whether he will want to come back. Of course you would then have to decide whether you want him back.

I suggest you consider what you want in your life for the future, with or without him, and start that life for yourself. If you have read many of the stories and comments from other women in your circumstances, you will see they went through periods of great heartbreak, and then their lives ended up better than before.

Also, just because he wants to sell your house, doesn't mean you have to agree. You may want buy out his portion, if you can afford it. He is also responsible for paying at least part of the expense of raising your children until they leave home.

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