I feel betrayed and humiliated

by Gloria.
(California. USA)

Hello, I been married to my husband for 17 Years, I am 39 years old, my husband is 42 and we have a beautiful 17 year daughter.


He is been very abusive towards me since the beginning of our relationship, he was a heavy user of meth at the beginning of our marriage then he stopped using for 13 years, and last year he relapsed, went to jail because he was beating me up, and I called the police.

I have a problem with alcohol and been to a very involved rehab and post treatment center, I have been sober for 65 days and still in out patient treatment. when my husband got out of jail, I took him back, he was attending N.A. meetings per court order, being in there he meet a 22 year heroin addict, married girl who had been in jail because her husband and her were selling drugs from their house. she is in court ordered 5 month rehab, she is only a us resident and she does not complete this program she could be deported to south america.3 months ago my husband told me that he is in love with this girl, and that he does not longer love me...after 18 years together, that we do not have much in common and that our marriage was, and is very bad. I agreed with him about the marriage part. I moved out to my own apartment, and I"m divorcing him, have had the same job for 14 years, have health insurance, and I can support myself. have no desire to drink, but taking it one day at a time. but none the less I feel betrayed and humiliated, because at the time he was already "in love" with this kid we were still together and having sexual contact very often. gaby.

Noel's response

As you are already in a twelve step group, you know the expression 'what begins in sickness cannot stand health'.

Your marriage was born in the sickness of addiction. It sounds as though your husband is might be 'dry' but not yet 'sober'. You recognize the marriage was bad, so are well out of it.

I understand your feeling betrayed, and even humiliated, but can only suggest you get some counseling, or go to lots of meetings, pray, and ask for those feelings to be taken away.

Comments for I feel betrayed and humiliated

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Aug 30, 2011
Betrayed and humiliated.
by: Anonymous

Noel, Thank you so much for your advice.
The fact of the matter is that I wanted the divorce in the first place, I moved out and realized that now I have the peace I always needed. But some days I feel so lonely and I do think of him all the time. But I know now that even if ever want it to get back with me, I would not even think about it, after all the hurt in both sides, and especially the lack of morals and respect for our marriage, for me, and my daughter.

He calls me and texts me all the time about random stuff. I just want to move on with my life, I do go to intensive therapy twice a week. but I just want to get all the resentment out of my heart, so we can be civil for our daughter. I want to be able to wish him happiness sincerely, and that can enjoy the true love he found with his 21 year, married, addict woman?.

Aug 24, 2011
betrayed and humiliated.
by: Anonymous

Can someone else give any feed back on this matter.

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