I looked after him all these years, now he has left.

The Question

My husband told me three weeks ago that he loved me but wasn't in love with me. Three days later he filed for divorce. Said he wasn't happy any more and that he was seeing and loved another women who happens to be his second cousin. Last year was a hard year on us as we had a son going through a divorce and other things, a daughter who's husband was overseas - she has 3 little ones - and a daughter we were planning a wedding for.

We have been married 31 years and he has not worked during 21 of them. He is disabled and I have taken care of him, worked, went to college and all the while he had free reign to do what he wanted. I loved this man. I was not only a wife but care taker.

How do men just suddenly turn a one-eighty? Do they ever grow out of it or does this sound futile to you?

Noel's response

Not all men turn a one-eighty, but it appears your husband has. I don't know whether he will grow out of it, but if he has already filed for divorce, he sounds committed to his 'new love'.

My suggestion is you let him go, and let the other woman be his mommy and nursemaid. You might find you enjoy the freedom!