I want sex and my husband doesn't

by lesha
(california)

The question


My husband is 46 and I am 36 years old. I am always wanting to have sex. We havent had sex in 2 years. When we do have sex it will be one time and we won't have sex for another 8 months or years, who knows? Why is this?

Noel's response

I cannot tell you why it is. I suggest you see a sex therapist and/or marriage counsellor.

Comments for I want sex and my husband doesn't

Click here to add your own comments

Jan 08, 2013
I wanted sex years ago
by: Anonymous

My husband has deprived me of sex, children, family, and all the things a marriage has. We had sex on our wedding night 45 years ago and that was the last and only time. He told me the next day that sex with me was disgusting, totaly pointless, mindless. messy, smelly, had no meaning or pleasure, waste of time, and way to much work for so little. He admitted he wasn't even hard when we had sex. Now this is something you tell a new bride ! I was then told that sex was a mistake and said it will never happen agaain and turned around and walked away. Then he moved to the basement and has been down there for all 45 years, I've had the upstairs. Now I have no reason to leave, because where ever I go I will always feel the same. I'm an older gal now I sure would like answers to what went wrong and why. Neither one of us are gay or getting any on the side, thats the last thing I want now.

Jul 24, 2011
I want sex and my husband doesn't
by: Amy

My husband decided 30 years ago he didn't want sex or any kind of intimacy from me or any one else. He feels sex has no meaning or any kind of excitement for him, a total waste of energy and time. Now I enjoy sex and I need to be touched, kissed and cuddled.. He doesn't do or believe in doing that. We live like apartment dwellers he has the down stairs and I have the up stairs. He won't even park his car next to mine. He is so distant and uncaring. I've been do depressed and unwanted and unloved all these years and he doesn't really care how I feel. My doctor and her associates have gotten me through all the bad times.

Jul 05, 2011
same
by: Anonymous

We don't have sex for a couple months then we have one time and wait again another couple months. Do you guys think is the age.

Mar 24, 2011
Husband gone for 8 months
by: Anonymous

I have the same problem and my husband has gone for 8 months now. I am planning to move on and buy myself and my daughter a place to live. I can't count on him now.

Sep 22, 2010
You're not alone
by: Anonymous

I am finding this is more common than I would ever have expected. I am in it right now so I don't have any advice (in fact my husband has left me to find himself) but knowing that I am not alone is helping me.

I hope to "win" my husband back, somehow, but time will tell. I truly believe it is part of their mid-life crisis which I am researching to better understand this situation we are in.

Aug 02, 2010
hey
by: Anonymous

Used to be me. Hang in there.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Ask Noel.