Is a texting relationship an affair?
This is how my story begins...He gets a new phone, updates it on our laptop at home. I ebay, so I start looking for pictures of inventory to post. When I go to our pictures, I see one of a pornographic nurse and one of him and a Hooter's waitress. Thus begins my search. First, I call him and jump him because we have a male teenager in the house. How irresponsible!! Then, I start looking at the phone bill. Low and behold, the number of his text messages have doubled our teenager's texts. I begin my search for this phone number, and find her name. You would not believe the long silence I got when her name came out of my mouth!! It's not either of the waitresses, but one of his customer's that he hit it off with. Mind you...he wears no wedding ring, which has always bothered me and there are no pix of family or a wife in his office. I was really beginning to think I was married to Tiger Woods!!
Long story short..he's not as happy as he used to be, he's got to fix him and figure out how he let this happen before he can fix us. It was non-sexual, however, they discussed trying to meet, but never did. Do I believe that? He says he stopped it at the end of November, yet he's blocked me from the phone bill...says we have to re-establish trust. I feel like I'm being punished for being smart enough to catch him and know her name!! He says it wasn't an affair, but a friendship, yet he called it an "inappropriate relationship". Was it only inappropriate because he was hiding it from me, or is there more to the story? Then, if it isn't an affair, why is it inappropriate? He lets me ask really difficult questions, any time I want to. I THINK he's trying, but part of me thinks he's just covering it up better now.
Please help because I am on the roller coaster ride of my life and the only thing I do is PRAY and CRY.Noel's response
About the only thing I can suggest is perhaps marriage counseling, if he is willing to go. You might also go for a walk or ride with him, where you are not talking face-to-face (it is easier for a man to talk in this 'non-threatening' way) and talk, using 'I statements', about your fears about what you think might be going on.
Of course he could be telling you the truth, and your fears are simply 'making you crazy'.