Is it normal to return to yoiur ex wife??

by sue
(SYdney NSW)

I was with my ex for 5yrs he divorced his wife a yr after we were together he had nothing nice to say about her, she is a nasty piece of work all the way through our rlationship she always made him feel guilty about leaving his kids. We went through IVF to have baby and I have a son to him 18mths ago he started cheating on me and I caught him we went through counselling as he has a history of cheating and found out he has a sexual addiction counselling went ok for the first couple of months and then we got to the guilt in his life and his kids kept coming up he eventually ended our relationship telling me he couldnt forgive himself for what he did to me but we ended on a bad note.

I found out a week later that the last couple of months he was fixing his relationship with his ex wife and kids and now has gone back to her a couple of days after we split up, put his wedding ring back on a day after they were back together and tell everyone its his wife when they arent married anymore. ANd says he regrets ever leaving her, they split up 5yrs into there marriage and he cheated on her 5yrs later we were together 5yrs and now his gone back again.
is this normal behaviour.
I wont let him near our son as i see their family that he says he is happy with is dysfunctional am i right?

Noel's response

It doesn't sound like 'normal' behaviour, although there is not necessarily a 'normal' in this kind of situation.

You say he divorced his wife a year after the two of you got together, which makes it sound as though you were having an affair with him while he was still married. If so, that would add to his guilt about leaving his wife and family.

I recommend you reconsider your decision not to allow him near the son you have with him. It is important to a child to have a father in his life, and the fact that you think their family is dysfunctional doesn't necessarily mean he is a 'bad father'.

Comments for Is it normal to return to yoiur ex wife??

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Mar 26, 2012
Re: Husband going back with his ex
by: Anonymous

I agree with Noel. There are many children born into this world without knowing their fathers either by adoption or sperms donors and surrogate mothers. I think that technology has gotten so advanced so in the future, the mothers can tell their children that you are from the test tubes or petri dish you don't have a father. The fundamental thing is that children need both mothers and fathers to be at peace with themselves. Children want to know about their biological parents. Just like I know a lot of adopted children eventually would look up their biological parents. Children need attachment to many people in their families and extended families. I have been separated from my soon to be ex for almost 2 years and I have never used my daughter as a pawn to make him feel bad or to come back to me. Sometimes a divorce is not a bad thing. Sometimes it is done as a cowardly way to not having to commit and to run away. Sometimes it is done after a lot of soul searching and it is done so that even though painful, both parties can move on to a more meaningful life. The divorcee is actually spiritually awakening to me. I want him back because he is wealthy and I can secure a financially comfortable lifestyle like before, but deep down, I know that I don't really respect myself for doing that and the right thing to do is to let go.

Take care and just think that you are blessed with a baby after so much work to get the baby. The baby is lucky to know his father and eventually will have some sort of relationship with him.

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